Still a human

It's okey

I pushed him away. „Why are you always doing this to me? I can't kiss you, I can't touch you, hugging you got even more difficult. Since silvester you're acting so different."- screamed Fabian, my boyfriend.

I know he is right. Even thought I don't wanna admit it. Kissing him, doesn't feel right anymore, well it never really did, but I thought I get used to it, get used to get touched by boys. As much as I remember it all started two years ago when one of my squad friends told us she might like girls. For me someone being gay was always fine. I grew up with knowing being gay was fine. My cousin is happily married with an amazing man and everyone in the family accepts it, beside his mother. She always wanted to see him with a women and childrens. Growing up that way got me closer to the gay side. I always watched out for boys who might be gay, just to see how well they are doing. I participate to each gay pride.
Day by day, week by week since my squat friend told me she might like girls I started to let this thoughts in. I always tried to push them beside, I always found an excuse when I thought about girls liking girls.