We're Brothers.

Chapter 8

Levi's P.O.V.
Its been a few days since Eren came home. He's acting normal...but in the moments I really look into those emerald eyes...I see it. He's hiding something from me.
Currently we were at the mall, it was the first time Eren had been let out the house since he was in the hospital. He sleeps a lot now, they said it's the medication but sometimes I see him stare at things off in the distant. But I always see him in the living room, crying as he stares at children. Every time I ask him about it. He mouths something and runs into the room crying. I try to help..but I don't know how to.

"Levi you okay? You're not the one on meds."

"I know sorry, I was just thinking about something."

" What was it?"

"Food, and books."

"Of course." He smiled softly, and for a second...I saw it. That shine in his eyes that meant he was happy. But his eyes went dark soon enough.

"Come here for a sec."

"Can I refuse?"

"Yes." He walked over, the mall was mostly empty. A few people here and there, but no huge groups of people walking. I gently slid my hands around his waist, his cheeks burned red and he put his hands on my forearms. A warning of some sorts, or him telling me to stop.

"Levi..."

"You can stop me anytime you like, I just wanna kiss your cheek."

"Then...ask before you act."

"Then may I kiss you?" He stayed silent for awhile. "I just want to show you a little love."

"Then...just a peck."

I smiled and pulled him close, I gazed into his eyes with love...beautiful emerald eyes. I'd drown if I wasn't careful. The only problem?

I wanted to.

I wanted to be his everything, I wanted to be the person he'd run to when his world was shattering. I wanted to be the person to pick up the pieces and put them back together. I want to be his. I want to freely hold him and kiss him and make him happy. I want his soul, heart, body, mind. I want to be a single person, single mind, single breath. 

I want to be the person he thinks first in the morning.

I want to be his love...

"Levi? You've been staring at me for awhile. Is something wrong?"

"No, may I have that kiss now?" He shyly nodded.

I leaned in slowly and kissed his soft cheek. I kept my lips there for awhile. His body was shaking, his eyes closed tightly. His breathing was erratic. I moved and looked at him.

"I'm sorry." He teared up and I held him close.

"Don't be. Do you wanna forget the mall and go home." He nodded and I wiped his eye gently and carried him back to the car.

"Levi?"

"Yeah?" I kept my eyes on the road as I answered. 

"Would you ever touch a person that had been raped?"

"Well...I'd ask if they are okay, if you mean sex...then I wouldn't until they want to." He sniffed. 

"Levi...I know that you like me. But now...we're step-brothers. As much as I want to-"

"Please..." I said as I pulled into the driveway. "Eren...there has to be a way to make this work. I don't care what papers say we are...I care that I have you by my side. I don't like you Eren."

"Levi what are you-"

"Just...let me finish...I love you Eren. I'd do anything to have you. I'd even die for you. It was hard...seeing you in the hospital like that. Thin, bony, lifeless...I knew it was my fault...if I had kept my hands off you, then you wouldn't have to be on those junkie pills." I felt the tears in my eyes..now my cheek..."If I could control my damn teenage brain none of us would have to suffer. I know you are. Everyday I see you cry as you swallow those pills and poison your body,  and..." I need to shut up...if I don't.."Everyday in the window, you see the neighbors kids...your eyes water. You whisper some name...you touch your stomach. Then you say..."Levi stop talking! "You say dead..."

I looked over at him, he was just staring at me. Eyes full of tears...

"Levi...After we moved away, I discovered I was gay...I met a guy..." He smiled then sniffed. "His name was Satoshi Kukaru, he was my first boyfriend, first kiss, first love, first time..." He wiped his eyes.

"Eren...your crying..."

"JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME TALK!" I stared, amazed he could even shout. "Satoshi raped me...I begged him to stop, to please let go. But he said...I made him feel to good. When he finally finished. He let it out inside me, I...I felt filthy, like trash. I ran out and went home in tears and messy clothes. I didn't leave my room for weeks...Mom made me take a shower and clean up. I hadn't eaten for that time. I had a...a t-t-tiny bump on my belly...I'd gotten touched all over at the damn hospital." He stopped to cry, heart-shattering sobs, I rubbed his back. "I was pregnant...of course I had to tell my mother everything with Satoshi...But...I killed my baby I had a miscarriage. Because I wasn't eating along with the stress I was giving myself. I killed my baby.... I did! MY BABY NEVER GOT TO SEE THE WORLD BECAUSE OF ME! THIS IS MY FAULT!"

"NO IT'S NOT!" He looked at me and I held his hands. Did you even know you could get pregnant?" He shook his head. "You want a baby don't you? Is that why you cry? well you know what? I'm gonna give you a baby. Me. I'm gonna give you a family. And I promise that, I'll give you a life to live."