Fear

9

      It had been a few hours since Scott was out of surgery and he was still sleeping. Mitch stayed laying his head on his lap, their fingers intertwined. He rubbed Scott's hand with his thumb lightly unable to get any sleep.

      Kirstie had fell asleep about an hour earlier on Avi's lap. He sat on the floor leaning against the wall behind him. Believe it or not it was a lot more comfortable than the hospital's plastics chairs.

     Kevin's staying in the church praying until Avi gives him the word.

       Scott slowly started to fidget catching Mitch's attention immediately. Mitch looked up at Scott's face to see a fearful expression. "Scottie?" Mitch whispered squeezing Scott's hand gently.

      Avi looked up at them and saw the pained expression on Scott's face. He shook Kirstie awake and they got up to stand at the end of the bed.

     Scott started to squirm and whimper. Mitch gently caressed his cheek, "Scottie? Baby, wake up. You're safe baby, wake up." Mitch shook him a little harder and finally Scott's eyes opened widely.

      His breathing was quick and he looked around frantically not knowing where he was. "You're safe baby, you're in the hospital." Mitch whispered catching Scott's attention.

      Scott looked at Mitch with tears in his eyes. Mitch smiled lightly running his hands lightly through Scott's hair. "John is dead, we're safe. We made it." He whispered and Scott started to cry tears of joy.

      He wrapped his arms around Mitch bringing him closer. He felt a running ache around his entire body but he ignored it. "I'm sorry." He croaked over Mitch's shoulder as he hugged him tightly.

      Mitch pulled away lightly, "for what? You saved my life over and over again." Scott shook his head looking down.

      "He hurt you. He..." his voice gave out and Mitch frantically shook his head.

      "He didn't. I told you. He didn't touch me I promise. He wanted to play with you so he tried to make you think he did to hurt you but he didn't." Mitch explained but Scott still frowned.

      He lightly ran his finger along Mitch's busted lip. "I tried so hard to keep you safe but he still hurt you." He whispered weakly. Mitch took his hand in his squeezing it gently.

      "I am safe. We both are now." He whispered reassuringly, "you did everything you could, you did more than you could Scottie."

      Scott nodded looking down before seeing someone enter the room. He looked up and saw Avi and Kirstie staring at the edge of the bed and Kevin walk up to other side of his bed.

      Tears started to run down his cheeks, "Oh my god." He covered his face with his hands, "I thought I'd never see you guys again." He choked out and they all smiled sadly at him.

      "Hey Scottie buckets." Kirstie said taking a spot next to Kevin. Scott looked up and smiled taking her hand.

      "Hey Kit." He whispered before looking at Kevin.

      "You saved my life." He whispered and Kevin looked up at him confused.

     "I've never been comfortable with praying after my sister died a few years ago and it used to make me so angry that you had so much faith into someone who wasn't always there for you so I prayed to you. Every time he... did something I would close my eyes and pray to you. I honestly think it's the reason I lasted to long before breaking so thank you." He whispered, "thank you so much Kev." His voice cracked and Kevin leaned down to give him a hug, tight but he was careful not to hurt him.

      "I'm so happy you're okay Scott. I've never lost faith, I've never doubted Him but when we were here everything was so real and I was terrified that we were gonna lose you... that we were too late but we weren't." Kevin said wiping a few more tears of his own.

Avi walked over by Mitch but Mitch didn't see him at first. He felt a light touch on his upper back and he flinched away before realizing it was Avi. Avi smiled sadly at him before turning his attention to Scott.

Scott acted like he didn't notice but his heart ached that he was so jumpy. "Hey Avi," he whispered and Avi put a gentle hand on his knee.

"Hey buddy, how you feeling? Are you in any pain?" He asked and Scott shrugged.

"A little not too bad." He lied. He was in a lot of pain he just didn't want to tell them where. He decided he would tell Mitch when they were alone.

They all stayed for about another hour before they decided to go home and get some rest.

"You should too." Scott whispered after everyone had left. Mitch's eyes widened at him and he shook his head.

       "You think I'm okay to go home alone right now? I flinch at everything. And you actually think that I would leave you here alone? Are you crazy?" He asked and Scott smiled sadly squeezing Mitch's hand.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that." He whispered and Mitch frowned sitting on the edge of his bed next to him.

"You went through worse." He said and Scott shook his head.

"I wish he didn't involve you. He should have just took me from that club, I mean it was my fault his daughter died not yours." He said and Mitch furrowed his eyebrows.

"That's not your fault. None of it was your fault! John was crazy and grieving from his daughter's death! Please don't think any of this is your fault!" Mitch pleaded tears welling in his eyes for what felt like the thousandth time he had in the past 24 hours.

Scott looked down at their hands avoiding Mitch's eyes but Mitch was not going to drop it. "Look at me." Mitch said gently, not wanting to lift his chin like John used to.

Scott did so reluctantly and Mitch leaned in gently placing a kiss on his forehead. "None of this is your fault baby, you saved my life multiple times and you saved me from..." his voice trailed off and Scott nodded.

      "If I hadn't told that girl to come out than she wouldn't have killed herself and then her father wouldn't have kidnapped us and you never would have been hurt and-" Mitch cut him off shaking his head.

     "It's not your fault that homophobic assholes bullied her so much that's he wanted to end it. You were trying to help her." Scott chuckled bitterly.

      "Yeah look where my help got her... and us." Mitch cupped his cheek and stared into his tearful eyes.

      "What do I need to do to convince you that none of this is your fault?" Mitch ran his thumb up and down his cheekbones gently, "the homophobic assholes caused her to kill herself. John went crazy and hurt you and me. You did nothing wrong."

      Scott sighed and scooted over to the right side of his bed. "Will you lay with me?" He asked and Mitch frowned but nodded slowly.

      Mitch layed down careful to not hurt Scott.  He rested his head on his chest and entertained their fingers again.

      "I'm so happy you're okay." Mitch whispered softly staring at their hands.

      "I'm happy that you're here." He whispered back closing his eyes, too exhausted to be haunted by the fear of nightmares.

      "I love you." Mitch whispered closing his eyes as well finally feeling safe enough to do so.

       "I love you too."