never heard of us

Murphy

I have this pet peeve where people dislike me for wearing too much.. black. Its not a bad thing. I try to be normal though. I ran away once, home never looked good from a near view. I have a dysfunctional family. My mother is an alcoholic, my father doesn't do anything. Pretty crazy, right? School's crazier. Im the black sheep. I hated everyone as they hated me the same way.

There were no classes today (it was a Saturday) , so i stayed home. Just so you know, i cut. A lot. And i have pretty good reasons for it. My life is like shit, not like it used to be. Im one of those guys who drink tea and just sit at home while listening to music all day. Speaking of tea, i ran out.. oh shit i need to get some.

I go into the store, look for the same old chamomile tea i always have. Then i see Tyler Cobb, a guy who goes to my school. He's basically like those hot guys you'd see on Instagram. You'd drool, i swear. I used to kind of had a crush on him, that hottie. He'd never be mine though.. oh fuck he's coming closer.

"Hey Murph." he says. He was smiling, so i smiled back. "We both go to math together, if you don't remember.. haha.." his laugh is so cute. "I remember. We also went to middle school, both of us." I said. oh shit maybe i made things too awkward. "Aw, you're that kid who used to get.. bullied.." oh please don't mention that. I stood silent for a few seconds.
"Oh god I'm sorry.. i didn't mean to.." this is the part where I'm supposed to forgive him. So i did. "Its ok.. i just didn't wanna be reminded of my old self.." i leave and pay for the tea.

I didn't mean to be a bitch but he had it coming. I hated myself, until now i still do.

Friday is the field trip, and i had to get ready. We were going to some forest up in the hills, it's actually dangerous there.
Growing up I've never had any friends, so i stayed inside home which made me look so.. pale.

As i walked home, i see a car from the distance. A familiar one, too. I realized it was my dad. He had run off without telling me. "Dad!!" I scream for him. He sees me and he drives faster. "Daddy! Wait!!" I keep yelling. He had his stuff at the back of his pick up.. did he leave me? With my mom? Who couldn't even take care of me?

I sit outside my porch. Waiting for him. But he.. never came. Wait. It took me three minutes to get my shit together. Where did i go wrong? I loved him as a father but he knew I wasn't happy, he didn't have to leave me like this.
This makes my life suddenly.. more depressing.