A player Hate The Game...

LAST TIME TOGETHER

How long does this pain last? I wake in the morning in excruciating pain and unbearable crying and have another horrible day to face when even a minute is unbearable. I cannot imagine getting through the rest of my life. I want my life to pass to escape this pain, where I should be enjoying each day. I wish I knew that it would get better. No sleep, pills, constant screaming pain. I feel so guilty for reaching out to people, because they can't help and get tired of it. Guilt makes me feel worse! I know no one can help me, but how long does this last? There's no life for me without my soul, my light.

Today I was not okay especially what happened last night. I couldn't go to work and instead I went to a place where I deserve, a place that keeps me safe.

I went to see my wife. Yeah my always and forever wife. A woman I truly love, a women of my dreams. Her name is Glory, She is Cal's sis. I miss her and it's been a while since I visited her. I remember the last time I visited her I was totally mess up. I was drunk and it was stupid.

" Look I know a thousand words couldn't bring you back I know this because I tried, neither could a thousand tears, I know this because I cried, you left behind a broken heart and happy memories too...but I never wanted memories.. I only wanted you."

I came to see my wife for many reason. I have questions in my mind and she's the only person who fully understand me, my complicate life and she usually give me answers when I'm down. Glory and I grew up together. We're in love with each other, during our relationship things we're much easier. We could see each other 160 times per day I mean we walked in the same Company, living in a same house and sleeping in the same bedroom.

"Honey we need to talk"

She didn't respond. Again I called her "Hey Glory.. Its me, your love"

"Let's not this be your life today" finally she respond. "Let's go in the car and pretend we're driving away because we want to... not because we need to. We can pretend I'm taking you somewhere amazing... somewhere you've always wanted to go. You can snuggle up to me and we can talk about how excited we are and we'll talk about everything we'll do when we get there. We can talk about the important stuff later. But tonight... let's not let this be your life"

Finally I agreed. We talked and I had a lot of funny because I got a chance to see my beautiful wife and daughter. We played together, sing together and sleep together.

It was time to go now. No I can't let her go this time. "Glory" I call her and she turn to me.

"Yes honey".

"I don't like forgetting Glory" I said with my eyes closed. A single tear slipped down my cheek and I let it. "I don't want to forget these moments that constantly remind me of who I am, who I was, and who you are. I don't want to forget my past and all the things about this world that's brought me here. With you."

"So then why do you try?" She asked, her gaze searching my face. "Be here with me, Awary. Exist with me, because there isn't any other way I'd love you more."

"We know that's impossible.. I can't"

"So does this means I-I don't belong to you?"

"Bullshit. You've belonged to me since that night on the alabaster hill. I had you then, and I swore to keep you."

"You-"

"Just stop." I placed a finger to her lips as i held her closely and slid a hand down her back. "Stop making up excuses. Stop hiding. Stop running from me. You're the light at the end of my tunnel, my saving grace, and you don't even know it, Glory."

MIRIAM:

A day passed and I didn't see Awary.
I miss him and I was worry. He didn't pickup my call, respond my text. I decide to call Calvin because I knew he might know something.