A player Hate The Game...

SUCCESS GUY

Swami Vivekananda once said " Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life--think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success."

It's been two years since my wife and daughter passed away. I miss them everyday and I still want them but I know that's impossible, no matter what I do I can't bring them back.

Today I want to change my self, I want to be a new guy, I want to live new life. I wanna be a success guy, yeah that's all I want to be from now on.

I know it's not simple and there are some efforts I must make but yes I still want to change myself.

So I decided to move from the town I once grew up, my old town. I'm going to start new life and become a new person, BETTER GUY. I can let people see me as a failure.

I prepare my self, close my stuffs. "Is there any need for me to go there?" No, no need. They disrespect you Awary. Just leave them and one day they will look for you.

I decide to step away from them without telling them I was leaving. I went home to see my Mother and my family. Well at least I have them and they always have my back.

"Are you sure about this Awary?" That's my Mom she asked suddenly when she heard me.

"Yes Mom. I think it is for the best. At least I will have peace there."

Since my wife and daughter death, My Family we're so close to me. Mom wanted me to go somewhere and start new life because I was a mess. But I didn't want to. I wanted to stay with wife and daughter here.

I used to dream about escaping my ordinary life, but my life was never ordinary. I had simply failed to notice how extraordinary it was. Likewise, I never imagined that home might be something I would miss.

"What changes you all the suddenly?" Mom asked.

"I don't know. I guess I read the book you once gave me."

Shannon L. Alder once wrote..
"When someone you love dies, you are given the gift of "second chances". Their eulogy is a reminder that the living can turn their lives around at any point. You're not bound by the past; that is who you used to be. You're reminded that your feelings are not who you are, but how you felt at that moment. Your bad choices defined you yesterday, but they are not who you are today. Your future doesn't have to travel the same path with the same people. You can start over. You don't have to apologize to people that won't listen. You don't have to justify your feelings or actions, during a difficult time in your life. You don't have to put up with people that are insecure and want you to fail. All you have to do is walk forward with a positive outlook, and trust that God has a plan that is greater than the sorrow you left behind. The people of quality that were meant to be in your life won't need you to explain the beauty of your heart. They already understand what being human is----a roller coaster ride of emotions during rainstorms and sunshine, sprinkled with moments when you can almost reach the stars."

"Now I've gone for too long
Living like I'm not alive
So I'm going to start over today."

"Yeah. That's my boy." She look at me disbelieve maybe she didn't thought I could make this far.

Now she is staring at me. "Awary.." then she stop. She give me a huge hug and I needed that.

She then look me in the eyes "Awary, we grow up with such an idealistic view on how our life should be; love, friendships, a career or even the place we will live ~ only to age and realise none of it is what you expected and reality is a little disheartening, when you've reached that realisation; you have learnt the gift of all, any new beginning can start now and if you want anything bad enough you'll find the courage to pursue it with all you have. The past doesn't have to be the future, so from now stop making it so. Go live the life of your choice."

I can see a tear dropping from her face, she give me smile like she was proud of this then she told me " I am proud of you, of your choice and of the new you."

I had a lot of enjoyment with Mom, we talked a lot and its been a while since we had that conversation. It was nice and it increase some energy on my body. Well at last I had someone who watch my back. She made me realize that, this is what I needed the most.

MIRIAM
No matter what I did in the office it was never good enough. "How could I be so stupid?" I blamed my self.

Is this how he plays?, does any of this means nothing to him?, Is this what he wants?, Is this how it should be?

Millions of questions passed on my mind. Awary and I had sexy yesterday. Next morning I wake up he was not there beside he left me with a peace of paper.

"I am sorry this is wrong." Yeah that's what he said. What kinda of person is him?

Again I tried to call him like I did since morning but he was not there. After finish my work it was time to return home.

I decide to go to his house. Arrive to his house, it was empty, no one was there. I called his name but empty. I found his picture and I began fondling it. I missed him and I wanted him to see that.

"Maybe he went to Rama." I wonder. Quickly I grab my phone and call him.

"Hallo" he respond my call.

"Hi Rama." Then I stop. No I should not tell him. They will take me cheaply.

"So what's up?" He asked.

I realized that this time I have to open my self "I'm looking for Awary and I can't see him. I'm at his house"

"Sorry Mimi I heard Awary leave town today"