A player Hate The Game...

JEALOUS GUY

Never hate people who are jealous of you, but respect their jealousy because they're the ones who think you're better than them.

AWARY..

I move to another city because i wanted to refresh my mind but coming here was a biggest mistake I've ever made in my life.

"hi Awary''

I met a girl i used to know. Her name is Catherine but now she is Mrs i don't know  i mean she is married.

I never wanted to see her again because i know how it feels. Cate was a first woman in my life.

"Hi Catherine'' then i turned to his guy  "hey"

"Hi" he respond.

"Awary this is my husband Mape, Mape this is Awary.... my X".

Her beautiful was still the same i stared at her looking.

"Mape will you mind if you give us a space..?" she asked politely

Her husband gave us a space, here we are together staring at each other with nothing to say.

“What would you do if I kissed you right now?" i stared at her beautiful face and her beautiful mouth and I wanted nothing more than to taste it.

"I would kiss you back.” she respond.

She was beautiful, but not like those girls in the magazines. She was beautiful, for the way she thought. She was beautiful, for the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about something she loved. She was beautiful, for her ability to make other people smile, even if she was sad. No, she wasn't beautiful for something as temporary as her looks. She was beautiful, deep down to her soul. She is beautiful.

"what are you doing here Awary?" she break the silence by asking me.

"i came to look for you" slowly i respond.

"haha" she laugh then she told me "mmh.. you've found me, i am here"

Cate and I were together for a very long time like three or four years but all those times it was nothing, no happiness just life. She was a first woman in my life. We didn't last long because she stop trusting just because i had one only one sexy with her best friend.

"Cate will you  forgive me for ......" i stopped then i continue "for what happened in the past?"

"Its okay Awary" she stopped.

"Look, yes you did break my heart and your a pain in the ass but i moved on. So don't worry its life and I'm married now so why should keep it on".

Honestly i didn't love Catherine. She was so boring, she was fucking sad. That's it. That's the point. She knows life is never going to get any different for her. That there's no fixing her. It's always going to be the same monotonous depressing bullshit. Boring, sad, boring, sad. She just wants it to be over.
............................................... but today I'm jealous, Jealous of  her and the way she looks happy. I wish for that life again because i don't know when or if I'll be happy again.

I decide to return home (to the hotel) because jealous was all over my mind and i didn't like it and it was around 09:45pm.

"why me?" i yelled in my room.

"Why do you punish me this much? what wrong did i do to you?" i threw everything which was in front of me, i punch the wall, the door but it didn't help.

I saw a small tears dropping from my face hurry i remove it. Crying was a sign of weakness or failure in my life and i am not a failure. Again another one show up and hurry i remove it. As i remove they started showing up and this time i didn't do  anything i because they were many.

I cant believe I'm saying this but crying was the best thing during that time because it helped me somehow than punching or throwing things. I cried a lot not loud, as i cried i can still hear my mom's voice telling me "don't be sad God has big plans for you."

"fuck those plans. fuck this life..." again i yelled and this time my voice was high than the last time.

(phone ring)

''ha...'' then i stopped.

"Awary! are you okay?''

I realize it was Miriam "fuck. why cant she leave me alone" i wondered

"Awary are you okay?" again she asked

"what Miriam?" i yelled

"what do you want?" madly i asked.

" why cant you leave me ......" then i stopped.

" Because i need you and i know you need me too" slowly she respond.

Now she have to be taught a lesson '' LOOK Miriam" i yelled. " STOP okay"

"I DON'T NEED YOU, I WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME ALO...."

"Leave you alone... huh!" madly she respond.

"Is this what you really want? don't you miss me?" i didn't get a chance to answer any of her question.

"i spend THREE days not feeling my self, looking for you and this is what i get in return?'' then she stop for a while.

"Okay Awary..." she speaks with  pain and low voice ''good bye Awary''.

I felt it was okay for me to pretend that I’m okay, but I know it’s killing me inside. I’m pushing away all the people I love and it really hurts. Sometimes I just want to be left alone. Maybe i thought I don’t care that I don’t care, but I do care maybe a little bit about not caring about not caring – but maybe I do feel sorry for all the nice people whose efforts are wasted on a waste case like me.

MIRIAM
I went to Annie crying, she is the only friend i have and i was not okay, i was in a sore situation because all i did was trying to help Awary but what i got in return was something else. I was like rookie to my self because I've  never felt this pain in my life.

"It’s hard when you don’t know what causes your sadness but, it’s even harder when you know what makes you happy, yet you can’t do anything to have it" madly i yelled with pain and anger burning inside me i guess i couldn't hide my disguise.

"Yes i know" she respond. ''It’s tough when someone special starts to ignore you, but it’s even tougher to pretend that you don’t care".

"Look Mimi" then she stop.  "Awary is a nice guy  and i can tell he loves you but you need to give him some times". She looked at me and helping removing the last tear which was dropping from my face.

She continues "the guy has lost his wife and daughter......"

she took deep breath ''And before that he lost someone else.... they were engaged"

she continues "Awary loves you and his afraid to let his self to love again because he thinks he might loose you so if you love him just give him some times"

Another tear drop from my face as i wanted to remove another came fast.