My Reasons (Mystic Messenger x Male! Reader Oneshots)

Memories {ZenXMaleReader}

I can't do this anymore. It hurts me too much. To see you with her, to see you smile even though it's not me making you laugh. I can't handle it. You, my best friend who's been with me the longest after everyone else left.  You're the person I could trust the most. The only person I knew who would love me even when I don't even love myself anymore. You were my happiness, my bright light, my motivation, my everything. You're my number one, the only one I could actually love.

But we aren't the same anymore.

What happened to our late night conversations? What happened to spending everyday together talking about each others problems and complaints? What happened to that closeness that we had? People get into relationships and things change, I understand that, but why is it that you still acknowledge everyone else like you normally would except me? Is it because you don't find me important anymore? Is it because you don't find me by your side anymore?

Who am I kidding.

Its because I confessed isn't it. It's because the day after you agreed to begin going out with her I told you I love you, isnt it? Even though I told you how important you are and how much you mean to me more than anyone, I still end up being left behind. I still remember the words you said after I confessed.

"If only you had told me sooner..." I sit regretting not doing anything now. Maybe if I did I would be happy, we would be happy together. But no one knows how things would turn out. I knew you liked her, I helped you get her, I knew what I was doing. I just wanted you to be happy.

And you are.

So who am I to go and take that away from you just because I'm not? You're the number one person in my life. For me you'll always be the person I care about the most, but I guess it wont be long before I fade away from you, from your mind in general. I won't be apart of your life anymore. So what's the point of living then? I've done ny job. I've made you happy and now you're marrying your true love. I'm not needed in this world anymore. I am nothing but a simple memory. Sorry I couldn't make it to the wedding. Or your bachelor's party. Or your birthday. I'm sorry that I'm not the same as I was. I'm sorry, [M/N], but I broke your promise...

I couldn't handle it

You left

And one after another the RFA left too. My family, my friends, my life all went to hell.

But hey, at least you're happy now right?

Keep smiling for me. Smile and be happy. Laugh, cry, and enjoy life for me. Because unlike you, I wasn't able to do those things because I didn't have you by myside anymore.

My best friend

My sidekick

My hero

My love

I know I broke our promise but I mean, whats the point of living when you're not by my side?

Its not your fault. Its my own. Don't blame yourself for my actions.

I don't want to see you cry. I love you

Even though I know my feelings wont be returned, I love you.

Goodbye,
Zen
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[M/N], now 34 years old, held the letter he obtained from his long time best friend. After 4 years of being separated this was first time he had gotten any sort of communication from Zen. Zen was always happy in [M/N]'s eyes. Always smiling and wanting pictures of them together. Always messing around with him and messing up his hair when he was down.

A hand pressed down on [M/N]'s head, an action Zen would do when he knew he was upset. But it didn't feel the same. He turned around and Saeyoung removed his hand from the top of his head.

"[M/N]," Yoosung said from behind. "That's not all..." Jumin walked up with a box, it was filled with notes and pictures. A lot of them looked wrinkled and had tear stains. They all were addressed to [M/N] with a bunch of confessions to him. "I'm sorry I love you" were seen on almost all of the letters that he could see. But what stood out to you the most was the pictures.

Each picture that [M/N] remembered Zen taking were printed out with a message on the back. Things like "my dumbass bestfriend" or "This dude omg grow some balls and confess" in which [M/N] laughed at. Then he saw the the last one they took together.

Four years ago Zen wanted another picture. Out of the millions he had, he said this one was the most important only [M/N] didn't know why. When he asked Zen, he just shrugged and said " because I one" with a smile. They were matching that day, not even on purpose but they were and like the others, this one had a message too.

"This is the last time I'm going to ever be this close with him. He's happy now." [M/N] remembered this day, he was acting really happy for some reason so as his best friend [M/N] took the picture thinking he was just in a good mood. He didn't think it would be the last time they ever spoke. [M/N] cried silently, the letter and photo still in hand.

And to think, he didn't even know that Zen had a funeral because it was on the same day of [M/N]'s birthday.

Where he spent it with all of the RFA except Zen.

And didn't notice Zen wasn't there.