I Didn't Mean It

Part 2 (Original)

It had been a few days since finding out Lauren had lost her baby. Lauren hadn't been eating well, she wasn't sleeping well, she was stressed out during her short pregnancy. It was too much for her body to handle. It couldn't hold onto another body, so it got rid of it to save itself.

Camila didn't know what to feel about it. And no one blamed her. Camila still acted like Lauren didn't exist.

Well, she tried to act like Lauren didn't exist. It was tough. When all anyone talked about was Lauren, worried about what she was feeling, if she was eating, sleeping, taking care of herself. But Camila was okay with it. Lauren needed it. And no matter how much Camila was angry, she couldn't help but worry just like everyone else.

Ever since they returned from the hospital, Lauren would stay in her bunk and sleep all day. It was like she had no reason to live, and it scared Camila a bit. And she wasn't the only one.

Camila wasn't going to lie. She had seen how destroyed Lauren was after the break up. She saw how sad Lauren had become, but that was Lauren's own fault. She was the one who cheated. She was the one who had unprotected sex.

"Can you make sure Lauren eats this?" Ally asked, handing Dinah a plate.

The young girl nodded and went to the bunk area.

Being the one who first to find Lauren that day, Dinah took it upon herself to make sure Lauren was taking care of herself. She'd check on the older girl in the middle of the night, she would bring her her food, she would ask how the girl was feeling. She was her protector of some sorts.

The remaining three girls took a seat at the table. They ate in silence, the only sound being Dinah begging Lauren to eat.

Camila looked up at her friends, to see somber looks on their faces. "Lauren cheated on me."

Ally and Normani looked up, confused. "We know."

"Do you remember the night?" Camila questioned, staring at her friends.

Normani nodded her head. It was after a show. They decided to go to a party, where most of them drank. Camila, not wanting to be party, had left early. The other four girls stays behind.

"We had split up. I remember seeing Lauren at the bar, drinking. Some guy was bugging her," Ally muttered, a frown on her face.

"I-I think I remember Lauren coming up to me, telling me she didn't feel good and wanted to go home. I was busy flirting with this guy. I think I told her to sit somewhere and that we'd go home later," Normani continued, tears welling up in her eyes.

Camila could feel her blood turn cold.

"Wh-what happened after?" Camila questioned, a frown on her face.

"I didn't see her until the next day, when we all went to breakfast. We all know how she was that morning," Normani whispered.

Lauren was quiet. She told them she wasn't hungry, and seemed to barely be holding herself. But it wasn't as noticeable. But it was different.

Camila remembered that morning. "She wouldn't talk to me. I thought she was mad that I left. B-but she's been mad at me before, and it, it was never like that."

"I-I begged," they heard. They all turned to the entrance of the bunk area to see Lauren standing there, Dinah standing behind her. The tall girl gently pushed Lauren forward. Lauren's eyes shifted around the room before stopping at Camila's.

Camila stared into Lauren's eyes. The eyes she fell in love, were a dull color. They no longer had their shine. They didn't have what made them special. They didn't have their spark.

"B-begged?" Ally asked, a quiver in her voice.

Camila's eyes stayed on Lauren's. They just stared at each other. Camila watched as Lauren's eyes filled with tears.

"I-I didn't want to, to cheat," Lauren whispered. "B-but I couldn't fight him. I begged for him to stop, but he, he just wouldn't stop."

Camila felt a lump in her throat as she heard what came out of Lauren's mouth. She stood up, her eyes wide. "Y-you—"

"I didn't mean to," Lauren cried, her body trembling. Dinah pulled the older girl into her arms. Lauren looked smaller, and it broke Camila's heart.

"Wh-why didn't you tell us? Me?"

Lauren shook her head. "I-I tried."

Camila remembered. Lauren did try, but she was too angry to listen to her. Camila took a step towards the broken girl. "Lauren—"

"I hurt you. I hurt you and I killed my baby. I-I didn't even get a chance to hold my baby," Lauren sobbed. Camila knew that the green-eyed girl would have been on the ground if it weren't for Dinah. "I deserved it."

"No!" Camila snapped, anger coursing through her body. "You did not deserve it. You did not deserve to be raped."

Lauren winced at the word.

"Lauren, you didn't deserve any of that. You were attacked, it's not your fault," Camila said, a little softer. "You are a wonderful girl. And I'm sorry I didn't listen to you."

Lauren's sobbing had calmed down. She slowly pushed herself from Dinah and looked at Camila.

"I'm sorry for what I said. I know what I said was mean, and I didn't mean it," Camila whispered, taking a step forward and grabbing the other girl's hand.

Lauren shrugged. "You weren't the only one."

Camila shook her head. "They are all wrong. They don't know you. They don't know the truth. And if they did, they would take it back, like I do."

Camila wrapped her arms around the other girl. "I miss you."

Camila heard Lauren inhale deeply. She felt the taller girl's hold tightened. "I miss you too."

-

Normani and the other girls sat there, as Lauren told them of what she remembered that night. She told him how a guy wouldn't leave her alone. She was only going to have one drink and then go back to Camila. But after a while, the drink had started to taste different. She had stumbled to Normani, wanting to go home, but was sent away. The guy who kept bothering her returned, but Lauren wasn't able to push him away when he started to kiss her. He dragged her to the male restroom where he, in Lauren's words, fucked her raw.

Lauren said she remembered begging him to stop. She remembered trying to get her arms to move so she could push him off, but they didn't work. She remembered telling him that she had a girlfriend. But that only made him go faster and harder.

She didn't remember the end. She didn't remember him finishing inside of her. She didn't remember that last kiss he gave her. She didn't remember being left on the floor of the restroom.

But she did remember a worker waking her up. She dragged herself to the hotel. She tried to forget, but after a few days of morning sickness, she knew that it wasn't a nightmare. She told him how she wanted to die because of what happened. And it only got worse after losing Camila. And if the other girls didn't hover over her, she probably would have tried something after losing her unborn child.

Normani couldn't help but feel guilty. If only she had listened to Lauren instead of paying attention to an random guy. They wouldn't be in this situation. Lauren and Camila would still be going strong. Lauren wouldn't be the broken girl in front of her. Camila would have never been heartbroken.

"Mani?" she heard. She looked up to see everyone staring at her.

"Yeah?"

"I-it wasn't your fault. I-I could have gone to anyone. I-I could have left with Camila."

"No. It wasn't anyone's fault, okay?" Camila said, glaring at everyone. The girl was sitting away from everyone. She had wanted to sit next to Lauren, but the other girl said she had to sit alone if she was going to tell them her story. "You didn't ask for that monster to drug you. And you didn't ask for it to happen. It's that monster's fault. No one asked for it, okay?"

Normani nodded, as she wiped the tears in her eyes. She stood up and went to hug Lauren. Lauren trembled as something inside of her broke. She finally let go and cried in Normani's arms.