I Didn't Mean It

Part 3 (Original)

It had been a few weeks since the five girls had the talk. Unfortunately, they weren't able to do anything about the guy who assaulted Lauren. They didn't know who it was. But they were able to get people to stop sending Lauren all the hate. They had said that Lauren was a victim (and the girl hated that) and that she didn't deserve what she was getting. A lot of people had backed off. Some people had even apologized.

Lauren and Camila weren't together. But they did spend a lot of time together. Whenever Lauren was down, Camila was right there with her, picking her back up. If Lauren needed to talk, Camila was there to listen. She was there to wipe the tears. She was there to soothe Lauren back to sleep after nightmares.

It was a process. Lauren still felt at fault. She still felt like she deserved it, but the other girls were always there to make sure that what she was thinking was wrong. They were there.

Ally had been watching all that happen. she had been there to see it all happen. She watched as Lauren got her confidence back. She watched as Lauren slowly opened up about what she was feeling, about what happened that night.

Ally was proud, as Lauren came out of the shell she created.

"Breakfast," Ally exclaimed, hearing a few sets of footsteps head towards her.

"Thanks mom," Dinah said, a smirk on her face.

Ally rolled her eyes as she sat down. The other three girls sat down at the table as well. As always, Camila sat down next to Lauren.

Ally could see that they were holding hands under the table. She couldn't help but smile at that.

"What's the plan for today?" Normani asked, looking around the table.

Dinah and Camila shrugged, mouths full. Lauren stared at her food.

"Lo?" Normani asked, her voice softer.

Lauren looked up, a small frown on her face. "What?"

"Is everything okay?" Ally asked, watching as everyone turned her attention to Lauren.

The girl nodded her head. "Yeah. It's just, today would have been the day that I could find out what-"

The girls hearts broke, knowing what she was talking about. They were going to find out if the baby was going to be a boy or girl. They all looked at each other, not sure what to say to her. Ally didn't know what to say to make the other girl feel better.

"Lauren?"

"C-can I go to my bunk?" the green eyed girl asked, looking up at Ally.

The older girl nodded.

"Do you want me to go to with you?" Camila asked, frowning slightly.

"N-no, I want to be alone for a second."

Camila nodded and the three girls watched as Lauren left, before realizing that Lauren hadn't eaten.

"Hope she gets better," Camila whispered.

Ally stared at the girl, knowing that she still loved the other cuban. She could see how much the girl wished she could be there for Lauren.

-

"Thank you!" Dinah shouted as the girls walked off stage. They had finished a show and were set to start moving to the next city. All the girls went to their dressing room to relax before they needed to be in the tour bus.

"So, Mani and I were thinking," Ally started, staring at Lauren.

Camila frowned. She didn't know what Ally was going to say, but grabbed Lauren's hand.

"Maybe you should see someone," Normani continued.

"S-see someone? I-I'm not crazy though," Lauren said, frowning.

Ally shot up. "No, we don't mean it like that. We just thought maybe you'd want to talk to someone about what you've been through."

"I-I don't," Lauren started, her eyes shifting to Camila.

"If you want to," Camila told her, "but I think it can help you."

Lauren looked down to their connected hands before nodding. "I-I guess so."

Ally smiled. "Don't worry. You just have to try it. If not, you don't have to go back."

Lauren did go a few days later on a day off. And she was able to get so much out of her chest. The other four girls waited for her in the waiting room. They were there to hold her when she walked out and cried. They held her as she released all the emotions the session had brought forward.

Camila was so happy when Lauren decided to book another session. She knew it meant Lauren did want to get better and she was able to handle what she was feeling better.

They all went to the hotels. Normani, Ally, and Dinah went to go get food, leaving Camila and an emotion Lauren alone. Camila was leaning back against the bed frame with Lauren laying down perpendicular to her, her head on Camila's lap. Camila's hand run through Lauren's black locks.

Lauren looked at Camila. "Do you think I'll ever be who I was?"

"I don't know, maybe."

"I miss her. I miss who I was."

"I miss her too. But I know the person you are going to be when you get past this will be even better."

"Do you miss us?" Lauren asked, looking away.

Camila frowned. "Yeah. I loved, I love you. I wish I had listened to you that day. I wish I had gotten my head out of my ass and realized that you were hurting and it wasn't normal."

"Do you think if you listened my baby would still be alive?"

Camila froze. She felt her heart stop. Lauren had stopped taking care of herself because of her. It was her fault Lauren had a miscarriage.

"Lo, I-I'm so sorry, it's my fault," Camila whispered, looking down at Lauren.

Lauren sat up, frowning. "No, I-I didn't mean it like that. I, I just, no. Camz, it wasn't, it was my fault. You-you had no, no."

Camila looked at Lauren. "B-but if I had listened, you would still be pregnant."

Lauren shrugged. "We talked about it. During therapy. We talked about the pregnancy. And, we, she said, I mean-"

"Breath Lo," Camila whispered.

Lauren did just that. She took a deep breath. "I didn't like how it happened, but I loved my baby. I didn't do what I had to keep it, I hate calling my baby it, but i can't say he or her."

"If you had your baby, what would you want it to be?"

"A girl. I wanted a girl."

"It's a she then."

Lauren nodded. "Okay. I didn't do what I had to keep her healthy. But I know I wouldn't be able to take care of her. I wasn't able to take care of myself. And I wasn't going to tell you what happened, I was going to do it alone. It wasn't meant to be. I miss her, I wish I was able to hold her, but I wasn't able to keep her safe."

"Adoption?"

Lauren shook her head. "No. I knew if I held her I was never going to give her away."

"The next time you get pregnant, it will be because you want to, you are stable. And hopefully, we'll be married."

"We?"

Camila smiled. "In the future. When you are better. I want to give us another try. You never cheated on me. I was never able to move on from you. I love you Lauren. I love you with everything. And I want to be your wife. And I do mean it."

Not a great ending. But that's final part, hope y'all enjoyed it.