The Birdcage Effect

Chapter 6

Over the weekend, I continue to listen to my parents argue with one another, while I keep myself locked in my bedroom trying to complete some homework. I know that their quarrels will become less frequent as time goes on, but I almost don't want it to stop since I know it would mean my father has officially left us. My father has spoken to me about leaving and assures me that it isn't because he doesn't care or love me anymore. Of course I understand that and believe him, I just wish it were my mother who were leaving and not him. It's selfish of me to make such a point, but I've always had such a good relationship with my father that it seems like that most reasonable solution to just leave with him. Unfortunately, my mother has expressed her concern for doing so because she wouldn't want such a change to jeopardise my school life, or more specifically my academic achievement. My father does see the rationality behind her concerns and thus has convinced me to stay. I know I never had much choice in the matter to begin with, I just wish things hasn't escalated to the extent they now had. I'm just about done rereading the same calculus question from my textbook when a knock at my door stops me in my tracks. I stand to answer it and find my father standing just behind it.

"Can I come in?" He almost nervously asks.

"Of course." I answer and step away from the entry to make room for him inside.

Once seated on my bed, I can see my fathers frustration behind his sorrow eyes and take notice of the way his breathing has accelerated as well. I know this divorce hasn't been easy on him, or any of us for that matter, but I think if anyone is handling it the hardest, it's him.

"I'm guessing you heard your mother and I downstairs?" He questions while running a hand through his hair.

"Yes." I respond.

He merely nods at my answer before standing and pacing around the small room. He seems particularly anxious today and I wish there was something I could do to ease his ill feelings but at this point I'm not sure what. He eventually sits back down beside me and looks at me with deep regret.

"I'm sorry Atlanta, I'm so sorry." He speaks.

"Dad..."

"I wish I could convince your mother to hold off on the divorce for a while longer but she's adamant. Even when I told her the only reason I want to stay is so that I can support you from inside the same house. To be there for you in times of trouble and need. She doesn't seem to understand though, or care about your wellbeing in the same way I do." He explains.

I stay silent because I feel as though my father isn't quite finished telling me everything he wants to.

"I just don't want you to think I didn't try hard enough for you, because I did everything I could Atlanta. It kills me knowing that I won't be around to help you or support you in ways I have previously. When I do leave I don't want you to keep your distance either. If there's something you need to ask or tell me you know you have my full attention, alright?" He asks me.

"I know, thank you." I sincerely say.

He stares at me for a moment, to see if I've honestly accepted his apology and understood the full extent of his words and once he sees that I have he leans in close towards me and wraps his arms around me. My family have never been particularly sentimental of affectionate people, so having my father hug me did come as a surprise in the moments that followed, but it most certainly was a pleasant surprise.

"I love you Atlanta." Whispers my father.

"I love you too, dad." I reply.

~

The following Monday at school, I'm sitting in English class when I receive a teacher message from Ms Kennedy. The message informs me that during lunchtime today there will be an impromptu debating meeting. I frown at the message and consider what could possibly be so urgent that the meeting was scheduled during lunch. Furthermore, I'm not particularly keen about going to this meeting as I know Stephen will be there. After the way he treated me on Friday, I don't want to be in his presence. Of course, I know that is highly unlikely, considering that we're in the same debating team together, I just wish there were some way around it. As soon as the lunchtime bell rings, I make my way over to the building where the debating meeting is being held. As per usual, I am the first person to arrive and take my seat behind one of the tables in the middle of the room. Ms Kennedy and I don't have to wait long however before Madelyn, Dalton and Stephen join us.

"Thank you all for coming, in spite of the short notice." Begins Ms Kennedy.

"I've asked you all here because I have some thoughtful news to share with you all. This Saturday there will be an opportunity for all of us to attend city hall as there will be a debating competition held there between local universities. I thought it would be a good idea we all go to gain some more understanding, knowledge and experience and maybe it'll even encourage our practice this semester."

"Sounds like a great idea." Pipes up Madelyn after Ms Kennedy finishes speaking.

"I'm glad you think so. I expect you all to come and before you leave today don't forget to pick up your permission slips from my office. Any questions?" Asks Ms Kennedy.

Everyone remains silence, except Stephen who ends up asking her a question.

"Are we expected to make our own travel arrangements?"

"No that won't be necessary. We'll be taking the schools mini bus so just meet me in my office the morning of. Any further questions you might have will be answered on the permission notes." Concludes Ms Kennedy.

Having picked up my permission slip straight after the meeting from Ms Kennedy's office, it gives me plenty of time to consider how Saturday will go. Since we'll only be expected to sit and watch, I won't have any reason to speak with Stephen. The thought alone makes me release a deep sigh I hadn't realised I was containing, until of course I bump into non other than Stephen when exiting from Ms Kennedy's office. I mumble out a quick apology before moving straight past him. I don't know what it was that possessed me to turn back around but when I did I caught his stare from just outside the door. He didn't look happy or sad or even angry. It was really difficult to gauge his reaction, but I told myself it was better I didn't know anyway because I wouldn't want it to influence the way I now feel about him. And that feeling was disappointment.