recovery .:bryler:.

an explanation

May be triggering. Sorry...

Hey guys.

i know I u haven't really been updating, and im sorry bc i know i said this book was iff hold. ive just had writers block and stuff. I really need to get something off my chest.

So this month has been a terrible month. I haven't been very happy. At all. And I did something I really really regret. And I'm sharing this with you because, well I just want you all to know what's going on with my life.

So, my mom is bringing my dad to court for full custody of me and my siblings. And last time I was at my dads (about a week or two ago) I told him I wanted to stay with him full time. I can choose where I want to live because I'm 13.

But my mom and dad do not get along at all. Neither does my family. And like I said before I've had a shitty month, and did something I'm really not proud of.

I hurt myself. As in self harm.

It is the worst decision I have ever made. Ever. But I just can't stop. I don't know why. It's like I'm fucking addicted to the sadness. But I'm not. I don't like being sad. It ruins fun days. Because I'll just zone off or not be myself.

I can't fucking deal with shit anymore. My homophobic/transphobic mom, and family. School is fucking stressful right now. Hell, even friendships are making me stressed. Because I have to be careful that my sleeves don't roll up so people see the self inflicted pain I cause myself.

I love you guys,

-tyler

edit: my mom ended up winning custody, so that's also why updates are slow