Is He A Blue Jay?

Does everyone know?

I spotted him talking to Ash by the bike shed. Ok, now was not the time to tell him....but I really wanted to get it out of the way.

Before I could debate with myself any further, Ash marched away from Jay. I could tell he was upset by the way his shoulders slumped and his eyes didn't have their usual over-energetic sparkle. Had Jay just broken up with him? I felt a little more hopeful now... maybe Jay really did feel something.

"You!" I was cut off from my daydream with Ash a few millimetres from my face.

"Urm....Ash? Are you okay?" I wasn't used to seeing him angry, he always looked so happy.

"No! I am not okay!" I could see Jay watching nervously but not making any attempt to stop Ash from looking like he wanted to rip me apart.

"Okay why?" I said anxiously.

"Well, one minute I'm trying to kiss my boyfriend, the next he's pushing me away."

"What...he broke up with you?" I said not succeeding in hiding the hope in my voice.

"He didn't have to! I know when I'm not wanted." I wanted to yell at him. Tell him that he clearly doesn't know because Jay never wanted to be his boyfriend and actually found him clingy....but I'm not that sort of person.

"Ok....so.....what has this got to do with me?" I was still confused.

"You tell me! Before he spent time with you, everything between us was fine. Then, after he spends an evening with you, he comes in and acts all distant." Ash is getting more and more angry.

"I-I don't think it's to do with me.....maybe....you just weren't meant to be?" I try to say gently.

"What would you know? You know nothing about our relationship so don't pretend to be some sort of expert."

"Why are you so angry at me....Jay and I are just friends...." I said, even though it pained me to say it.

"Ye....and I bet you wish it was more." He spat. "I see the way you look at him,  everyone sees. You practically drool over him."

"I-"

"Shut up, Taylor! I bet Jay's just laughing at you behind your back, messing with you because everyone can see you adore him. But guess what? You're never gonna be good enough for him." His voice was filled with such venom. Jay must have meant a lot to him. But what stuck in my head was everything else he said, about everyone knowing. I suddenly felt so exposed, so humiliated. Did everyone really know? Was everyone laughing at me? Was I not good enough?

"I'm. ....I'm sorry." Was all I could say before I ran away.

My head was a mess. If Jay was laughing at me then why would he share all the stuff about Ash and then break up with Ash? Either Jay was someone who put a lot of effort into messing with people and was prepared to break up with his boyfriend....or Jay did have feelings for me.

It was too much. I also didn't like the fact that Ash was blaming this on me. I hadn't done anything that I was aware of....who gave him the right to be a bitch?

I just needed to get out of there. Fast.