Walk Away ✔

Simula

Simula

I stood by your side because of two painful reasons. First, I was working in your company for years; second, I was already helping you sew your ripped heart clawed by your first love.

I stayed not because you said so. I stayed because my mind and heart said so, pinning me in your life where moving on is impossible. Those red lips, broad shoulders, defined abdominal muscles, pectorals, and your good looks captivated the hell out of me. But did you know what convinced me more to like you? That pair of sad eyes, looking for answers why she chose to stay away from you.

I can feel you but you can't feel me. I was with you in times of sadness and solace. But happiness? It's the missing piece of my puzzle. That's the thing I can't see and feel in you. You were happy for me but you were never happy for yourself, your own good and your success.

You were the nicest man I've ever known that I pity you when you're at the verge of tears because of her. You were silently looking for a standard. The love you have for her is stronger than you have for me and it almost whacked my head with a plank to make me realize I'm abducting someone else's love.

You loved me because I am your girlfriend. But she is the only love of your life! You want her so bad that you can risk your life for her. I saw it in your eyes at that very moment you were together for the first time in three years of not seeing and talking to each other.

I was there, standing beside a freakin' tree, watching the both of you as you talk very seriously and eagerly at the wide plantation of pineapples. But even if you were having that intense conversation, I can see it in your eyes... I can see it in your eyes what you've really felt for the past three years of being away from your other half. Your eyes were bloodshot. Your eyes penetrated her soul. I knew it! I knew you were still into her all this time! You want me to describe her reaction that late afternoon? She. Wanted. You. She wanted you to come back, to forgive, to love you again and to be forgiven.

I asked you to marry me when you arrived at the house. The look on your face dragged me into a loud roar of terror. I can almost hear the excruciating pain of your silence. I can't understand why you didn't want to marry me when all you did with her, donkey's years ago, was ask her to marry you? Wasn't it applicable to me? I knew it from the start that I am a potential rebound for you but I risk it. For you! For you to forget your goddamn ex!

But if you can't love me the way you loved her, then don't. You can't take responsibility and I don't need your pity. All I need is your love. But that love is... sadly only for her. If you can't give me that kind of love, I can't do it with you anymore. I love you. But I'm too good for you. I thank you for the experience. I will leave not because I can't take the pain anymore but because you both love each other.

Your heart was scared when I found you. Look at me at the end. I was the one who got scared because someone have already owned the heart that once scared to begin anew. You forced yourself not to hurt me but at the end, I'd still be hurt. And it happened. I pushed you away like she did. You stayed away like you did before. You became happy like the way you used to before you've met me.

Jacob, you're free to be happy again.

Love,
Fel

"What the hell is this, Felicity?"

Kadidilat ko lamang ng aking mga mata ay ang mukha na nina Penny at Aia ang aking nakita. Their eyes stared at me like they're accusing me of a crime. Why are they here?

"Sino si Jacob?" inosenteng tanong ni Aia.

"Naging panakip-butas ka ganun? Ang gwapo naman!" bulyaw ni Penny.