RANDOM BOOK

Sorrow

Hi. My names... Um, let's just say Mari. And well I'm a bit depressed... And have a bit of anxiety.
They both bother me and kinda mess me up in my life, but I know there are ways with dealing with these issues.

I'm, not really one to share emotions w/ people. Not even some of my close friends know how I'm feeling.
That's kinda the problem with depression, it's kinda this deep sorrow you feel in your heart for nothing.
You'll end up crying for no reason at all, and won't be able to get over it.

Anxiety is also terrible, you feel anxious, nervous. Your mind makes up things that you can't brush off.
It's terrible when you wanna relax, or even sleep.
Both combined, makes you feel even worse. The anxiety comes in and next minute your crying.

I don't really know how to deal w/ any of it. My mom kinda just brushes off any problems I have.
The anxiety makes me too scared to actually talk about my emotions. I feel as if maybe the person I'm opening up to won't care or just brush it off like my mom, I'm scared that I'll be a burden to people.
I don't like feeling depressed, I'm pretty sure no one does. For me both we just huge weights on my shoulders, I never seem to get a break. It's hard to sleep when I have anxiety, sometimes I don't even know why I'm so anxious.

Although there are times where I'll feel calm and relaxed, but I still have some sort of empty feeling in my heart. I don't like talking about either anxiety or depression, so I kinda just try and ignore it or smile through the depression. No matter how badly I'd love to just let it all out, I don't wanna bring someone else down or ruin their mood.
I smile and laugh wether it's genuine or fake, cause I don't want anybody to see me cry.

I'm sure there's tons of ways to deal w/ anxiety and depression.
•A Therapist.
•Pills, by that I mean; pills for depression and anxiety.
•Trying to get your mind of of everything by doing something you enjoy.
•Maybe try to hang out w/ someone that makes you feel happy. ( which sadly for me the person that makes me happy, I barely see anymore )
•And I'm betting there's a ton of remedies for depression and anxiety online.

Why did I decide to write these chapters?
Well because I'm pretty sure there are people who have these same issues. It's hard for me to talk about all this and I don't know why but writing it all down is easier than actually saying it out loud.
My mother would always make jokes saying how depressed I was or how she was gonna take me to therapy, which she never did because she doesn't think I actually feel this way.

Well I'm gonna have to end the chapter here, even though I said I would end my chapters at an 1000 word count, technically I'm at 500 so, I'll end it here. For those reading this and/or have anxiety/ depression/ both. Remember, relax and make happy.