Torn Apart

Stuck In The Middle With You

Arthur opened his eyes, disoriented. A moment ago he had Kay in his arms. Now he embraced only empty air. Come to think of it, the Swarovski type cut-crystal cavern was nowhere to be seen either. He appeared suspended in empty space, kneeling on something that felt like a hard surface, but invisible to the eye.

Exasperated, he sprang to his feet. It didn't matter how many dimensions he had to cross, he wasn't about to lose Kay now. He'd just faced down a disgruntled gardening goddess, he would figure out where he was and how to get back to Kay.

"Callie, c'mon, I really need you to come out now. It was fun, but you know I don't like dark places."

Arthur blinked. It sounded like his voice, but he hadn't opened his mouth. Had he? He puts his fingers over his lips.

"Callieeee. Okay, fine, how about Mystery? Are you pulling one over on me? Stree?"

Nope. His lips weren't moving for sure. Curiosity flickered from the darker corners of his mind as the Shiker came to attention.

"Guys this isn't funny!" And out of the darkness stepped a mirror Arthur, complete with puffy orange vest, orange pants, and two real arms.

What the what?!

The mirror Arthur caught sight of him and froze, eyes wide. The dark curiosity shoved past Arthur and you step forward, mouth curling in a grin. "Well well well, and here we thought there was only one Puppet. Tell me, how did you come to be two? We surely don't know ourselves and there is such curiosity between us."

The mirror Arthur swallows hard, taking a step back. "Your eyes-"

"Yes, yes, fascinating, we know all about our eyes but tell me about your arm. That is something we didn't think we could get back, how did you do it?"

"Who are you?" he demands, finally planting his feet. So, this one has a spine. He has a look on his face you know the feel of from inside. The one where you know you face something greater than yourself but you refuse to be cowed, because it is not the most frightening thing you've faced. He may dislike the dark, but he is far from a coward.

Shall we tell him what we are? He is likely only an illusion, or some strange happenstance of universes colliding. Perhaps that explains where we are, Puppet. Perhaps the universe has coughed and we are lodged somewhere in the throat, waiting to be unstuck back to our own place.

"We are Arthur Kingsmen the humble mechanic, and Meynung Shiker, the mind drinker and murderer of him you call 'best friend.' At your service." It is satisfying to see his pupils widen, his color surge, and his hand go to his hip, as if he had a weapon there. Odd gesture, and he comes away with nothing. He is unarmed, though more armed than we by half. You giggle to yourself. "Indeed, more armed by half than we, how did you come by your arm again?"

"A water spirit took a liking to me, what's it to you?" he snarls, oh look at that bite-back, most amusing. "I thought we put you away!"

You roll your eyes. "This figment of a universe's lapse thinks we are the same across all spans of realms and worlds. Listen, Mirror Puppet, I do not know who accosted you in your cavern, but it was no Meynung Shiker. There is only one in any universe." You preen and Arthur gagged on the hubris, shaking his head in disgust. Sorry, he signed. If I could shake him I would, but gods know when that will happen.

The mirror Arthur's fighting stance relaxed, but his eyes were still narrow. "Something changed, I think that's you... me... the Arthur back in charge, but I don't read sign. Looks like the demon's got the voice, is that right?"

Crinkling his mouth, Arthur, nodded.

"I'd have died before letting this happen," he said flatly.

You howl in derision. "Listen to the hubris! As if he knows, Puppet! Believe you me, Mirror, this is as unfortunate for myself as it is to him. If he could rid us of me, he would, and if I could rid us of him, well." You grin. "That remains a distinct possibility."

Arthur's mechanical arm arced in an uppercut, snapping his own head back. It hurt, but he was not about to let the Shiker get away with even hinting that he would go down easy.

"Okay, obviously there is some really messed up stuff going on over there, I'd really like to get back to my own dimension if you don't mind. I have a hyperactive water spirit and an overprotective kitsune who are probably worried sick right now."

Arthur gestured in frustration. He had people to get back to as well, but it wasn't like he knew how.

He tensed at the sound of footsteps, turning his head as a musical rumble mused, "It got dark rather quickly. Did we pass the whole day already? Surely the stars would be out by now."

The Mirror clutches the weapon at his hip that is not at his hip and mutters, "What now?" to himself, but you can smell the situation before you see it step into the light, and you are doubled over in laughter and pain all at once.

For into view steps a heavyset creature that resembles a goat standing on hind legs with wickedly curved horns of an astounding length. Heavyset, you note, but nowhere near fat, it is a bulk of muscle well honed over the years under that fur coat, and the eyes are old and intelligent. This creature's soul is not fully its own, augmented with yet another variation of your own soul, which leaps to the forefront of all control shouting, "What the hell?" as soon as he sees all of us.

Oh, Puppet, it is too much. This is amusing to me, but you cry for this? I scent no discomfort from this other soul of yours, nor his host, they seem well blended and in harmony, not striving. Stop sniveling to yourself. You are not some cruel possessor, you seem to be an aid of some kind. Disgusting.

"WHY?" the Mirror shrieks.

"Gods alone know," you sigh. This is beginning to be tiresome, quite suddenly. Is this the way of it forevermore, then? Eternal iterations of the same being having travelled different paths? Perhaps next we might meet a vampire, or a half-fish.

You instantly regret this thought, for next an arrow plants itself by your feet and a lilting voice shouts, "Dark void or no, hand over your purses and satchels. As a merry man and by Robin of Loxely, I will have-"

You turn and begin walking. The void would be better than seeing yourself outfitted in orange tights and touting a bow, and there has to be a way back somehow.

Give me a siren and muddled god-feuds any day over this...

....

Note: If you haven't guessed by now, HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY. I skipped last year, was too exhausted and depressed, but this is a tradition for me and I am loathe to pass it up a second year in a row. This year's April Fool's chapter features MULTIVERSE ARTHUR with a crack shot at the fact that I have woven Arthur into classic lit and mythologies TWICE now (not counting the Undertale crossover) and hence a poke at Kingsmen as one of Robin Hood's very own. No worries, lads and lasses, I've no true intent to go that route. Yet. So, if you're wondering, no. This chapter is not canon and never happened. Skip straight to the NEXT chapter for actual happenings. Chapter title excerpted from Stuck In The Middle With You by Stealers Wheel.