I Don't Want to be Alone Anymore

Broken Glass

I stared up at him for a minute before angrily yanking my wrist out of grasp. "I'll do what I want! Don't tell me what to do!" I stood up, "how many times do I have to tell you, I don't need your help!"

Bon stared at me in surprise before standing up as well. "And why not?"

"Because I don't need it!" I snarled at him.

"Yeah you just go and cut yourself and let yourself be depressed and mope around but no, you don't need help." Bon replied sarcastically.

"Just fuck off! Go hang out with your damn buddies or go study some useless information or whatever the hell you do in your free time!" I yelled at him.

"Why don't you stop acting like a damn brat?!" Bon snapped. "You're all upset because we don't hang out with you, but then when I actually try to be here for you you push me away?! Make up your damn mind!"

"Oh, what the hell do you know?! You just don't understand!"

"Understand what, excatly?! That you're a fucking idiot?"

"No, you don't understand how I feel!" I snarled. I gripped the knife in my hand, having a strong urge to just stab the older boy with it. I instantly regretted the thought, making me feel sick that it actually went through my mind.

"Then why don't you explain how you feel?" Bon challenged.

I glared at him, "Why?! So you have more fuel to use against me? So you have a better understand of how you can hurt me more? Like hell!"

"Rin, I don't want to hurt you." He said seriously.

"Bullshit. Leave me alone." I said as I went to put the knife back in it's sheathe.

"Why should I when I know the moment I leave you're gonna slice yourself all open?" He demanded.

"Does me cutting bother you that much?" I asked. "You think I need you to leave to cut myself? I don't care if you're here or not!" To prove my point I moved the knife away from it's sheathe and slashed it down my opposite arm, ripping open the sleeve of my shirt as I did so. Blood ran down my arm and dripped onto the ground, staining my shirt a bright scarlet red. My skin burned around the large gash now in my arm. I kept my gaze locked on Bon's, not even flinching from the pain. I felt a little bad, but if it got him to me alone it was worth it.

I didn't expect him to do what he did though. His eyes widened for a moment before darkening with anger. He lunged forward and grabbed the arm that was holding the knife roughly and twisted it so it was pinned behind my back. I gasped in more surprise than pain and my fingers opened, dropping the knife. He grabbed the sheathe out of my pocket and pushed me away from him, not trying to hurt me but just to give distance. I spun around, ready to spit venom at him when he picked up the knife and put it in it's sheathe.

"Then I guess I'll have to confiscate this." He said, shoving it into his pocket.

My eyes widened, "give it back!"

"Why?" he asked.

"I need it! It's mine, you don't have the right to take it!" I lunged towards him, going for his pocket. He easily stepped away,

"No, you don't need it. You want it." Bon correct.

"I don't care! It's the only thing that helps!" I went for him again, and instead of dodging he grabbing my arms and held me in place. I struggled to get out of his grip, but I was growing tired and weak from hunger, and cutting myself open with such a big gash didn't help.

"It's not helping you! All it's doing is hurting you!" He insisted, looking me in the eyes.

I shook my head, "That's not true! You don't understand!"