Finding Home in Redemption

Chapter Thirty-One

 Saturday after work I went to the restroom to change into a blue tank top, shorts and tennis shoes. When I walked outside, he got out of his car and opened the passenger door for me. I smiled and thanked him.

Brennan seemed to be extra quiet for the first few minutes of the drive so I asked him if everything was okay.

He sighed. "There's something I've been wanting to talk to you about. I told your dad a few days ago, but I asked that he let me tell you myself."

His tone sent nervous flutters through my stomach. "What is it?"

"The case that I was on, it was what I was involved in when I was a kid. I think that's why they thought I was the best fit for the position."

"Pop told me that your foster brother got out of jail a few years ago," I said. He glanced at me before looking back toward the road.

"That's actually what I wanted to tell you," he sighed again and it made me uneasy. "When we got inside, during the takedown, Will was there."

I sucked in a breath. "What happened?"

"I tried to talk him down, but he came at me with a knife. He was going to try and kill me, and I honestly don't know if I could have pulled the trigger, but one of my partners did."

"Did he survive?" I whispered.

"He didn't. He's dead."

I took a moment to let the news settle into my mind. It was a weird feeling, having a sense of relief and remorse. I felt sad that someone had lost their life, but if Will hadn't changed, maybe it was better that he wasn't alive to cause any destruction.

"I'm so sorry," I finally said. "I'm sorry you had to watch someone you looked up to as a kid die."

"I don't feel like I've lost something special, but I hate that he didn't turn his life around. I hate that he lost his life."

"Thank you for telling me."

"I just wanted you to hear it from me. I didn't want you to ever think I was hiding it from you," he said. "I hope this doesn't ruin your day."

"No, it doesn't ruin it, I just feel sad for you and guilty because I-," I stopped.

"Why do you feel guilty?"

"Honestly, I feel relieved that I don't have to ever worry about running into him. Now, I know he can never hurt another person and it makes me feel like a horrible person for feeling that way."

"You're entitled to feel however you want. He wasn't a good person, even in his best moments, he was bad. He was a part of an operation that probably took countless lives because of addiction. He had no remorse about that."

"I was watching the news the other day, and they said that drugs are almost disappearing in Hillview. They credited the police force that took down the biggest drug ring Ohio had ever seen."

"There were a few small operations around, but I think the Chief has a good handle on them."

"You changed a lot of lives," I said.

"I only followed orders," he smiled.

"You followed orders for almost three years, and you made difficult decisions that weren't always what you wanted to do. I think you deserve some credit."

"I appreciate that," he said and then changed the subject. "Your dad mentioned a while back that you were in school?"

"Yeah, I started this spring. My goal is to be a counselor of some sort. I think it would be pretty awesome to work at a school, but I'm open to anything." I wasn't sure why I hadn't brought this up to him yet. I think it was partly because he had been the one to make me second-guess my career choice and the other part was because, for some reason, I knew my degree was going to be a part of our future. It was a scary thought, knowing someone was going to be in your life for a long, long time. After such a short period, I was convinced he was my forever.