Finding Home in Redemption

Chapter Eighteen

The days we'd had together were spent at the apartment, except for when we had to check the mail and walk Dog. Every moment we spent at home was spent being consumed with each other.

Christmas melted into New Year's Eve, and before we knew it, we were counting down until midnight and watching the ball drop. When we got to one, Aaron grabbed my face in his hands and kissed me. The kiss felt so different than the few others we'd had. It was almost as if he was at peace. Before, he kissed me like he was saying goodbye every single time, but that night in my living room it felt like he was saying he'd never leave me.

I was standing in my living room, listening to cheers and screams coming from the television, being kissed by a man that had completely captured my heart when the realization hit me. Somewhere along the way, I had fallen in love.

I wanted to be giddy and tell him the moment I felt it bubbling up in my chest, but I remembered his promise. He was working on things, I knew he was, and I was so excited and proud of him. I couldn't tell him that I was in love with him and risk ruining his vision for his life.

When we finally separated to go to our rooms, I couldn't sleep. I stared at the ceiling asking myself if it was possible to feel this way so quickly. What did love even mean to me? How could you fall for someone you didn't know inside and out?

I knew for a fact that I could commit myself to a relationship with him if there were no secrets between us. I made a promise to myself that I would tell him about my mother. If I expected truth from him, I had to give it, and I was caught off guard by the need to tell Aaron everything.

I thought about times when Pop would tell me he'd die for me if it ever came down to it, and beyond a shadow of a doubt, I knew I'd do the same for Aaron. I wanted a better life for him, and I wanted him to be proud of himself.

With the comfort of knowing he was in the next room, I drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, I was walking out of the kitchen when Aaron came out of the restroom.

"I have to get something off my chest," he said.

"Okay," I answered. Nervous wasn't the right word for what I felt about what he might say.

"I just want to make sure we're on the same page. We can't be an official item yet, and I hate it. I so badly want to say that I can give you all the answers you want, but I can't. I can't be the man you deserve yet. I feel like I'm so close, Bentley. I promise you I am so close to being where I should be."

"How do you know you're close?" I asked.

"I can feel it. Do you trust me?" I took a sip of my coffee to hide my smile.

"I trust you, and I want you to know something," I paused giving him a moment to let it sink in that I did, in fact, trust him. "I want you to know that I don't care if it takes weeks or months or even a year, I'm going to wait for you because you mean so much to me."

I had barely gotten the last few words out when Aaron took the coffee cup out of my hand and set it on the table. He wrapped his arms so tightly around me, it was hard to breathe, but I relished the feeling. Maybe it wasn't the right time to tell him that I was in love with him, but I needed him to know that this was something more to me.

After what seemed like the world's longest hug we grabbed our coats and headed to Cooper's. You could clearly hear how happy I was in my voice, and the smile on my face wasn't going anywhere. The time we had spent trapped in the apartment together had done so much more than the month of friendship we'd had.

I wasn't sure what the remainder of our strictly friendship relationship would look like; honestly, I didn't care. All I knew was, we were in the place we wanted to be.