Sollux the Writer's Random Drabbles

Red (MeuKri)

You're quiet today and everyone is glad about that, you're offended. It's only because Meulin, of all people for gog's sake she can't even hear, gave you a book to write stuff down in. She says it's because she watches you talk sometimes and it's like you don't know what you actually want to say so you look awkward. She likes to watch you just continuously talk without being interrupted. You actually can't be frustrated about this because it's actually smart as fuck.

Frick. You mean frick. You don't condone cursing, okay. Not even in your thoughts. Even though they're your thoughts. Who's going to hear them?

You come to a conclusion that fuck it, it's your thoughts. You can say what you gogdamn please. You actually not realized how vulgar your thoughts were.

Hehe. Ass.

You snort in real life and that takes you out of your thoughts and back to the fact that you just wrote that out. You feel ashamed. You scratch it out with the red ink pin quickly and grumble to yourself before just ripping out the entire page because now it looks bad, like you can't get your thoughts together because you can't, damn it.

You want to talk about a lot. You always do. You do. Or at least you try because a lot of people don't really listen to you except Cronus because he wants to get into your leggings. Sometimes you consider letting him. Sometimes. Cronus isn't all that bad looking and you've gone through two heats with nothing but yourself and secret items ("you're still celibate," you tell yourself but you know that really it's a lie.) and it's hard.

You really mean that. Your kind are naturally sexual creatures, especially jadebloods but you never see Porrim that way—you don't even see her anymore actually—but celibacy is not for creatures like you. That's why you have...help. Nice, vibrating, help that makes you shake like an overwhelmed wriggler when you use it.

BUT YOU WON'T TALK ABOUT IT, THAT'S LEWD #TRIGGER #LEWDNESS #HEAT #SEXUALTALK

Did...did you just have to tag yourself? When have you ever had to tag yourself for something that you did?! You're really falling off. After so many years of trying to keep everyone not offended, you just offended yourself. How the fuck does that even work, it was your own damn thoughts. What the hell.

You rip this page out also.

You cannot have the evidence of self-offensive thoughts. That just sounds wrong. You almost break your red pen with the rage that came behind the fact that you offended yourself.

Afterwards, you sink into your sweater and sniffle quietly. You want to cry but don't find a reason to so your bout of sadness is over before it even really starts. You sit back up and continue writing.

You eventually write an essay/sermon/long piece about yourself. Not even really technically yourself, but Signless. You're proud of him no matter how much you actually shit on him and his actions. You don't hate him, you just disapprove. Harshly. But he's over with, for now, because he's dead. He can't do much dead expect for forever seethe because he's been murdered. You write that out and in red, it brings out a little anger. You don't scratch it out enough so that it's unreadable, you just draw a line through it.

You sigh through your nose and turn the page because it was full. You wrote the last sentence in big letters. You were lucky to have not been interrupted by now. Usually, if you're in your hive for too long, someone comes to check on you. It's usually Meulin and you don't mind because she usually just sits on the floor next to you. The last time she sat on your lap though, you flicked her and she looked so pouty about it, you almost felt bad.

Almost. Now you do feel bad because Meulin's actually really cute. There's still a next time for if she wants to try again. You just have to listen for her purring to see if she's around. Her purring is low and quite cute—especially when she's right next to you because you actually allow her into your personal space—and her cheek is against your horn or something.

Q. Do you have a red crush on her?

A. Probably.

It's not even like she's off limits. She has a thing with Damara but you're pretty sure it's a pale crush. It'd better be or you might cry. Ugh, gog, you've never crushed on someone so badly, especially not red. You feel your face heating up as you think more about her and you're drawing a heart on your paper eventually.

You smile a little and color it in. You're using a red pen anyway. You feel hope that you might actually be able to end up dating her. You're a blushing mess and you feel like you could overheat so you avert your thoughts to something stupid, like the floor.

Floors are totally stupid.

You scribble that quickly on an empty line and snort, amusing yourself once again.

You pause again because you've managed to not notice Meulin sneaking in. She's so tiny and light that you never hear her really. But now here's your chance to get what you want. She settles on the floor next to you and you start actually writing something, not just whatever comes to your mind. You look concentrated enough for her to purr curiously and crawl over to you. She sits her hands on your leg and looks up at the book curiously, mewing quietly. You don't disturb her by moving so she crawls into your lap, curling up immediately against your chest. You let her see what you were writing and she reads it silently, signing to you that it's nice.

You beam and write something else on the paper that makes her entire face flush. She nuzzles her face into your neck shyly before she signs to you slowly, "Yes."

The question was, "Red?"

A/N: I forgot all about this, lmao, but I like it so here you go.