God's Country

Chapter One: In which we Find ourselves Cornered

Some mistakes are irrelevant--like grabbing a piece of paper so fast it causes a paper-cut or spending an extravagant amount of money on something completely unnecessary. They're the kind of mistakes that can't hurt you--that don't cut too deep. Then there are the more serious mistakes--the ones that cut you to the core and illuminate deadly consequences. That was the one I had walked myself into.

I hugged Paisley tightly against my side, beneath my arms. I could feel her violent trembling blending with my own. We were like two doe-eyed rabbits caged in a trap. We squeezed each other, fearful of what was to come.

And yet, in spite of the fear, my mind wandered to a moment that had been lost to time. Mom was preoccupied with her own thoughts. Her faraway look and vacant silence unsettled me. Upon noticing Paisley and I watching her, she had smiled gently and spoke words I would never forget.

"One day all you will have is each other and, if you don't want to end up alone, you have to protect and nurture what you have."

The words were still applicable, especially now. If I had heeded them better, I would have recognized this for the mistake it was and we wouldn't be in this situation. We would be safe. She would be safe.

I should have better protected what we have.

Paisley's nails dug into my right side. Without access to clippers, hers had been free to grow long and sharp. My nails, on the other hand, were stubby and nearly nonexistent--a consequence of an incessant anxious habit to chew them. The pain from her grip was bearable compared to what I'd been through before, though. In fact, I welcomed it, for it meant she was still here, superglued to my side.

This pain I could handle. For Paisley's sake, I could. If our current situation was any indication, much worse was to come. I would have given anything to protect Paisley from it.

We were chess pieces ensnared in an inescapable checkmate. Menacing wolves pressed in on us from all sides. I was unable to whip my head around fast enough to keep a wary and watchful eye on all five of them. Each just as vile and abhorrent as the last, I couldn't be certain which one would pounce first.

The hair on my arms stood on end. It was harrowing the way each follicle worked together to collectively warn me of danger, like a hundred tacks spearing me all at once and injecting me with noxious anxiety. Accordingly with most things in our lives, my body's warning had come too late.

Five frenzied sets of dark eyes assessed us from head to toe, searching for any threats or weaknesses. Their wicked toothy grins were more than mere transfixing displays of yellowing teeth; they were reflections of cruelty and lechery brought on by years of uncivilized human contact and greed. The way humanity lived now was not much different to the way it had lived before, except all the bad characteristics of human nature were amplified and now undisguised by common courtesy. Civility had been extinct, at least in our little world, since the end of governance and order on our side of the barrier.

If someone had warned me I would end up here, I would have believed them. But no one did, and no one was around to help Paisley and I now. It was all up to me.

This danger had seemed worth the risk this morning. Only now was it clearly a mistake. My legs itched to run, but where? We likely wouldn't even move a foot before their circle would compress and tear us apart. And though fear activated my flight instincts, it handicapped Paisley.

I enclosed my sister more tightly into my chest. I wanted to give her some words of encouragement, but I didn't have the energy to lie. It was my job to protect her and I couldn't even do that. I had nothing to protect us with. In leaving our supplies behind, I had doomed us more than I had helped us.