5sos Imagines

Anxiety - Ash

Trigger warning ☡☡ anxiety attack

It was one of those days where something feels off from the moment I woke up. There was just this feeling of wrongness in my chest. The type that makes breathing feel normal and abnormal at the same time. Everything went the same, I made pancakes for breakfast and kissed Ashton goodbye to the studio. I cleaned up the house a little and sat down to study.

The full impact came when I was working on an essay. It became hard to breathe, I gasped but air seemed to disappear, and all of these 'what ifs' filled my mind. What if I'm not good enough? What if I don't do this essay? What if Ashton realizes how worthless I am and leaves me?

What if I kill myself? A tiny voice in my head answers the last one. Everyone will be happier. I clutch my hair and curl up into a fetal position, my chest full out hurting now.

Tears stream down my face and I start whimpering. I usually have these situations under control but today is different. Today, anxiety is giving me its full force and showing me what it can do. With trembling hands, I pick up my phone and call Ashton. He picks up after a few rings.

"What's up, babe?" Ashton asks.

"H-help." I whimper out. Ashton hears the tension in my voice. I hear the jingle of car keys. I use it as hope.

"I'm coming. Stay with me. It'll be okay." He says.

"Sorry I c-called you. I just couldn't- couldn't-" I am unable to form words.

"It's okay baby. I'll be there in 2 minutes. Just hold on for me. Do you want me to sing for you?" He asks. I nod but realize he can't see me.

"P-please." He hums along to some new tune the boys are working on. I close my eyes and let his voice wash over me, calming me. The sound of the door opening startles me and I jump with a small scream.

"It's me!" Ashton says. I stand up and he immediately takes me into his arms. I cry into his chest, panting.

"Breathe. Just breathe." I try but fail. He pulls back and stares into my eyes. They are a myriad of green and brown, working together to create the perfect hue.

"Just focus on me and breathe with me." He says. He inhales and I inhale with him while focusing on his eyes. He exhales and I do it with him. We continue this for a few minutes until my breathing comes back. He wipes away my tears.

"Shh, everything is okay. I'm here with you. You're too pretty to be crying." He leans down and kisses the tears away. He strokes my hair.

"Take a nap. You'll feel better." I nod. He helps me up the stairs and into bed. I continue to take deep breaths, it being the only way to breathe. Ashton lies down with me and softly strokes my hair, whispering sweet nothings into my hair. But, for some reason, I am unable to close my eyes.

"What's wrong baby?" Ashton asks.

"I'm afraid that I'll wake up and you'll be gone." I whisper. Ashton kisses my temple gently.

"I'm not going anywhere y/n." He says. And for some reason, I believe him. Because no matter what happens, I can always trust Ashton