A Pretence Of Hate

Chapter Four: Heart Skips A Beat

A.N: This chapter went on for a little too long but all the same - hope it explains Sebastian more.

Doing all I can do just to be close to you,

Every time that we meet I skip a heartbeat,

Always up for a laugh, she's a pain in the ass,

Every time that we meet I skip a heart beat,

Give me an evening, or give me a night,

I'll show you the time, of your life,

I'll walk you home safe, from the dark,

I'll give you my jacket; I'll give you my heart,

But she won't come dancing tonight

She's having the time of her life

-Heartbeat, Scouting For Girls

Sebastian's POV: Heart Skips A Beat..

I spent the rest of the day trying to get a glimpse of Cathy, although I knew I deserved every bit of what Cathy was giving to me. When my parents separated, I tore off my deepest tie with the person who knew me best. Because I knew that they would feel pity for me, and I just, I didn't need that from Cathy. I didn't want that from Cathy. Cathy was... still is my everything, the soul of my very existence.

I know that sounds dramatic but it's the way I felt about her. I couldn't let someone as amazing as Cathy see just how fucked up my parent's divorce had made me. And if that meant never talking to her again then so be it. At least she would remember me only as that dorky little kid that was her childhood friend. Well, that's what I had planned.

Start of Flashback ***

I purposely went out with a group of boys I knew, Jasper being one of them on the day Cathy was expected back. Mum called in her somewhat sober state, telling me of Cathy's arrival, but still I stayed out. And it pained me to do so.

Eventually, even Jasper had to go home and I was left sitting at the bus stop at the end of my street just waiting for Cathy to give up. She waited for 3 hours. 3 stinking hours she spent waiting for her best friend so show so she could say hello. I knew it wasn't fair to her but I was selfish, determined to stay away from her.

I snuck home an hour after she left, just to make sure that she got home safe, and then, well after that I said goodbye. Goodbye to the house I had spent to many nights staying over at. Goodbye to our favourite spots, our cafe's and hangouts. But most of all goodbye to Cathy, who had definitely changed over the summer. Her skin was now a beautiful sun kissed brown, her dark hair slightly wilder and her body dressed in denim shorts that ended far too soon exposing her long delicate legs. She wore high top pink converses; something which I'd bought her the year before along with glow in the dark laces.

She also wore a close fitting t-shirt and a long black cardigan. One thing hadn't changed. She still made my heart skip a beat every time I saw her (in the streets (8) =P). When I got home, Julie handed me a carefully wrapped present covered in shiny silver paper and a green ribbon.

I took the gift from her, my eyebrows drawn together in a frown. I carefully opened up the present and gasped. Inside lay a beautiful leather bound journal, carved in with delicate patterns. In the middle of the patterns was my name, carved in with great precision. It was absolutely spellbinding. I opened the book, and thumbed through the clear white pages simply dying for ink. On the last page

Cathy had written a note:

" Dear Sebastian,

I hope I'm able to give you this in person, but if I'm not, well, anyway. I bought you this from Morocco - and the pen from Paris. I saw it at a shop and it practically screamed Sebastian! I had a guy carve in your name as well so the gift seemed more personal. Well anyway, it's for you to write whatever you want - be that journal entries, thoughts, drawings, whatever! The pen is in your hand. It's your chance to write your future! Become to William Shakespeare I know you can be. The fountain pen, I'm told is made with diamonds! Real ones, it was sort of pricey but I didn't know what else would suit you better. =D Anyway, I missed you this summer, I can't wait to start high school with you - maybe as my boyfriend? I know we didn't actually make any promises but - well, I don't know we can talk about it afterwards. Forever, Cathy xox