*ON HOLD* Control | An Edward Nygma Story

Chapter 10

It was like time was frozen. I couldn't move, couldn't feel, couldn't breathe. I couldn't believe what I had done. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

I turned to look and saw Lauren staring at me worriedly. She had been strangely silent the whole time and now, it was as if Jackson's body wasn't lying on the floor at all.

"Come on. Let's get you cleaned up," she said, her voice soft.

I felt her take me by the arm, pulling me gently in the direction of the bathroom. My mind was reeling, struggling to comprehend what I had done. What I had done...

It was like my body was on autopilot as Lauren brought me to the bathroom, flipping on the lightswitch once we were inside. She instructed me to sit and I did without a word, sitting on the edge of the bathtub.

I heard Lauren open the cabinet to search for a washcloth. I heard her running the water in the sink. I wasn't watching her. All I could look at were my hands, coated in blood that wasn't my own.

I noticed as Lauren knelt in front of me and silently began cleaning off my hands with surprising gentleness. She was being so quiet. I couldn't imagine what she must have thought of me.

"Lauren...?" My voice came out like a whisper.

  "Shh. Don't talk," she said, her voice both soft and authoritative. "Bandages?"

  "Um...behind the mirror," I said, looking up at her. She wasn't meeting my eyes.

  She nodded, handing me the cloth. "Use that. Your nose is still bleeding."

I felt my heart sink as I touched my finger to my nose and, sure enough, there was blood. I had been so out of it, I hadn't even noticed that my nose was bleeding. What was wrong with me?

  "Oh, we both know that's a loaded question."

  My grip on the cloth tightened. I shut my eyes, trying to focus solely on the sound of Lauren going through my medicine cabinet for bandages. I was not about to get into a debate with him, not with Lauren here and certainly not after I just...

  "Are you seriously that upset about Jackson?" I could just imagine him rolling his eyes. "Come on. We both know he deserved it."

  "That still doesn't make it right..."

  "What?"

My eyes snapped open and I saw Lauren staring at me with a confused expression. It felt like my heart had skipped a beat as I realized I had said that out loud.

Quickly, I shook my head, holding the cloth up to my nose. "Nothing," I said quietly, looking away from her. It was like she could see right through me.

  I heard Lauren let out a sigh and suddenly she was kneeling in front of me again. She reached out and took my hand – the hand that had been gripping the hem of my sweater in a death grip – and gave me a gentle smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

  "Listen," she said, her tone eerily calm. "Why don't you take a shower, destress, do whatever you need to feel better. I'll take care of things out there, okay?"

  "What...? I-I don't--"

  "Edward," she interrupted, sounding like a parent scolding a child. "Just listen to me. Okay?"

She was acting so strangely, so unlike the Lauren I had grown used to. I merely nodded, even if it was only to appease her. Besides, I needed to be alone.