Who I've Become

Chapter 1

    As I strode through the buzzing hallway, I let my dangerous mind wander nowhere, a nowhere that I had vowed to never return to.  How have I even gotten this far?  What has happened?  Even though when most people ask this, they don't ask it happily.  I was just curious, unsure.  How could I be sure when my whole life has already changed, including the person I was before? 

One Month Earlier

    Class was the same as always, me making sure I perfected everything, and the others doing the opposite. It was as boring as ever; even I was starting to zone out since World History is my least favorite subject.  That was the last time that would happen. 

"Caroline Jay please report to the principal's office.  Caroline Jay to the Principal's office."  I froze in place as everyone else turned my way.  Throwing my head down to my desk, I saw my quirky red glasses fly off.  Great, just to add to the embarrassment, I thought sourly.  The air was frozen as I could just imagine my classmates accusing me of some terrible school crime.  Ha!  That would be the day.  I could never allow myself to be another disappointment in my family.  See, my sister Kelly she dropped out of high school in the middle of her second year without giving any reason to why.  When she told my parents, they acted fine, stern too, but I was able to look past the facades and really saw them.  They looked like Kelly slapped them. They looked hurt, disappointed.  If only she realized too, maybe she would still be living at home.  So, from then on, I made myself vow to never be like Kelly no matter what.  I might sound terrible, but it's true— and she hurt a lot more people than just Mom and Dad. 

Thinking back to that night, and that vow, I almost refused to go to the Principal's office.  What could I have done?  I've never done anything bad... well, except for sneaking more than one mint at restaurants.  Anyway, somehow I managed to pull my legs from underneath my desk and inch out of the classroom.  I even saw my teacher eyeballing me, wondering what got into me.

   There it was, the principal's office.  I couldn't tell you how surprised the secretary was to see me come in there, almost trembling. 

 "Principal Santos will see you now, hon." The sympathetic woman called out to me, nodding towards the door. 

    Principal Santos stared down at me with my parents on either side, looking like a wall of awaiting adults.  This cannot be good... I thought as worst-case scenarios were popping through my mind.  The first thing I had to do was fill up the awkward silence with meaningless talk.  

        "Oh God Principal Santos---" Suddenly she sat down right on her desk and waved her hand dismissively.  

        "Please Caroline, call me Loretta."  Okay, there was definitely something up, and I'm surprised I only noticed then, because my mom and dad were grinning ear to ear proudly.  Yes, I am a bit of a teacher's pet, but not this much!  I just glanced around quickly, wondering if this was going to be put on live television or something.  No cameras showed up.                 

          "Um, okay." 

           "Caroline, you've had the honor of participating in a new organization run by the man himself!"  'Loretta' added to my confusion, but luckily my mom was there to clarify.

    "Oh honey, the President has started an organization where 2 kids from every state are picked for their outstanding participation and knowledge in school and you've been picked to join it!"  She gushed.  Me, sort of stunned, asked, "What kind of organization is it?"  It's a good thing I did or I would've been in for a heck of a surprise.

        "Oh, it's supposedly going to be one of the top schools America!  We have the brochure at home if you want to check it out later."  I could tell that she was really hinting at me that I should go.  I knew I couldn't let her down, so I weakly replied, "Okay, I will."

        "Great, I knew you would, you're one of my best pupils!  Make sure you think about us when you leave!"  One of her best, well when I tried to interview her last week I was completely ignored.  This seemed to get to my mom.

        "No!  No, I mean I think Caroline means she will think about it.  We can't force it on her, you know."  She pursed her lips as she added matter-of-factly, "It's only right, Ms. Santos."  That time, my principal didn't tell my mom to call her Loretta; instead, she replied even more strained, "Oh I know Mrs. Jay.  I have no intention of forcing it upon her, but I'm sorry if it came across like that."  Loretta Santos straightened her blazer as her thin smile shrunk a bit.  Finally, my dad came to life as he sloppily cleared his throat.  Even he knew that the tension here could be cut with knife it was so thick.  

           "Um, Care- Bear, do you wanna go get your things and head out?"  This was more of an order rather than a question, but I answered the command anyway— and let me tell you I hung onto it for dear life.  I knew I couldn't of left quicker if I tried; I didn't even mind that he called me a 5 year-old child’s nickname. 

 Running to my locker I thought about what just went on in that office. It played through my mind over and over, trying to be stopped.  Not the tension between my mom and Principal Santos; rather the overall announcement that me, the average smart girl, was picked to go to one of the top schools led by the President! I grinned slightly to myself and knew I would soon be leaving this school to be with people who wouldn’t immediately recognize me as the “smart girl.”  This would be a chance to prove those kids wrong, and I’d make sure I did.