Mr Sheehan,
I hope you have thought long and hard about what you did to that poor girl. She's ok now, in case you were wondering, but of course you weren't. You'll be too busy sat there, imagining new ways you can murder people. I hope you understand I'm not writing to you because I want too, I'm writing this because I need too. Maybe in a while I'll forgive you again. Maybe. My mum knocked on my door this morning. But I didn't have time to answer it, she was already too busy screaming abuse at my father. I bit the inside of my cheek so hard I thought I was going to bleed to death. I really did.
It turns out they had gotten divorced. Last week. And that was my mum's reason for coming to see me, not because she wanted to apologise. So I slammed the door shut In her face. You'd have been proud. It actually hit her. You could hear the crack of her nose as it shattered. The noise made me feel extremely happy, believe it or not. But I suppose I should continue my story again. Let's skip forwards a few days to when Dylan turned up at my door.
Jack had just gone out to the shops, promising he'd be right back. He just needed to get some bread, and some sweets for Billy. He'd turned out to be an alright dad. Although I did wish he'd stop giving Billy sugar. I was fed up of scraping him off the ceiling. Hearing a knock on the door, I thought it was Jack, coming back after realising he'd left his keys or something. But it wasn't. The moment I opened the door I was met by a wall of Dylan's aftershave and my head flumped into a familiar chest.
"Did you have to stand so close to the door Dylan?" I laughed, trying to push him away from me, but he wrapped his arms around me to hold me in place.
"Yep." He smiled, ignoring my struggles to get away.
"Dylan let go of me!" I shouted, finally managing to push him off me, "You can't be here! Jack'll be home soon!"
He'd laughed at that. He didn't really care. All he cared about was trying to attach his lips to mine. But every time, he'd be pushed away.
"Oh, come on Anna." He sighed, "I thought you loved me."
"I do!" I protested, "Just not when Jack could walk through that door at any second!"
He growled angrily and shoved me against the wall, leaning down to get his lips on mine. I know where you think this is going Mr Sheehan, and it nearly did. Had Billy not started crying that very second, I may well have had two children.
"I have to go sort Billy." I whispered, trying to get away from Dylan's strong grasp. He let me go this time, and stood by the wall, glaring at me.
I admit I was scared, so I pulled out my phone and called Jack, asking quietly when he'd be home. He was on his way, he told me. He didn't ask why, he just told me he'd get here as quick as he could. Billy had stopped crying by this point, but I thought I'd take him with me, just in case Dylan tried something again.
"I'm sorry Anna." Dylan sighed when I'd got back into the hallway, "My anger just got the better of me."
I stared at the floor in silence, ignoring me.
"Anna?" He whispered.
"Jack's nearly home." I muttered, "You better go."
"I don't care if Jack's..."
"I said you better go." I growled. I heard him sigh angrily and stomp out of the house. The door slammed so hard it made the picture frames fall off the walls. No kidding. I slumped down to the floor at that point, Billy cradled into my body as my back slid down the wall. I was still like this when Jack came in.
"Anna?" He asked worriedly, "What's wrong?"
I said nothing. I got up and took Billy back into his room before walking over to mine, shutting the door behind me.
I stayed there for days, not eating, not moving. No matter how much Jack pleaded through the door, telling me Billy missed me and needed to see me, nothing could take away the anger I'd seen in Dylan's eyes. The look of hatred as he'd slammed me against the wall. Maybe that's what he was like. Maybe he wasn't actually as nice and kind as I'd first thought. It wasn't love he felt for me, it was something else.
After a few days, I came to the decision I was better off with Jack. I had come to love him a bit. Not as much as Dylan, but a bit. So I deleted Dylan's contact from my phone and asked Jack to change my number. We moved from town and went to live in Jack's old apartment. It wasn't that far, and whenever Billy wanted to go see his friends, Jack said he'd take them. And that's how my life went on for a while. Just me, Jack and Billy. That's all that mattered. That's all I needed.
And Mr Sheehan, that was how your life was once, wasn't it. You, Danny and Glen. The three young Dubliners that took on the world. You were happy. It's a shame that had to end. Didn't you find that time went so fast when you were with the two people that mattered most? I wonder how quickly time passes for you now. Do you even sleep? Maybe your night and days merge into one constant nightmare. Maybe you don't even know if it's night or day. You don't know if you're eating breakfast or lunch, if it's a Monday or a Friday. How do you even live like that? It's sounds more like torture than life to me.
But that's probably how you like it. I bet you like seeing the pain on their faces flash before your eyes ever single second. Maybe you take joy from knowing you were the one that put it there. I don't. But I guess that's what makes me better than you. Who knows.
From
Anna
