Dear Mr Sheehan,
To be honest, April Fools day has to be the best day to write to you. We're both fools, so today is our day. I do hope no one plays a joke on you though, I don't want to think about the things they'd do to you. I've heard the rumors about mens prisons. I actually hope you stay safe. So yes. On with the story I suppose.
A few weeks later, we were still happy together. Happy in our house. Happy with our little family. But then Jack told me he wanted me to go with him to see his mum. He'd told me there was a chance Dylan would be there, and I really didn't want to be in the same room as him. But I didn't have a choice. Jack told me I was going wether I liked it or not. His mum had requested I be there, and Jack was not one for letting her down.
So that's how I found myself in Jack's cramped, sweltering fiat, driving down endless roads and motorways for what felt like an entire lifetime. By the time we arrived at his mums tiny flat, Billy was fast asleep in his car seat, and it was fair to say I was beginning to drop off aswell.
"We're here." Jack whispered, shaking me slightly to break my half-concious state. I hummed in response, blinking a few times to get my brain working again. I carefully picked Billy up, cradling his sleeping body into me, just so I knew he was safe. Jack pressed the buzzer on the wall, simply saying his name when a woman asked who was there. Cautiously, I followed him up the stairs.
The first thing that hit me as we stood outside the oak door was the loud thump of drums.
"Dylan." Jack hissed. He didn't know what had happened that night, but he knew it was Dylan's fault.
"It's ok." I whispered, clinging onto Billy tighter. But in all honesty, it wasn't. Surely I shouldn't have this fluttering feeling in my stomach. I never got it with Jack, so why should hearing Dylan drum bring it? I didn't understand.
"But he upset you."
"Doesn't matter." Surprisingly, I was the one that knocked on the door, not Jack. A cheerful oldish lady opened the door, grinned brightly and pulled Jack into one of those hugs that squashes the breath right out of you.
"Jack!" She giggled, "It's been so long since I've seen you!"
He grunted and pulled me forwards.
"This is Anna, and this is our son, Billy."
Our son. I wanted to just scream and tell him Billy was my son, not his. But I was too scared to. I mean, hadn't I begun to accept Jack loved us? I smiled warily at his mum, following politely as she showed me into her house.
It was a little while after we'd eaten that we had the argument. Me and Jack, I mean. I'd avoided looking at Dylan and he was back in his room, hacking away at his drum kit. Secretly, I hoped he was angry. At himself, at me, at the world, who cared. I just wanted him to be as angry as me. His mum had excused herself, saying she needed to use the bathroom, so it was just me, Jack and Billy, sat alone at the table.
"I'm sorry you had to come." Jack sighed.
"No, it's fine."
"It's not. I shouldn't have made you come near him."
"I told you Jack, it's fine."
"I wish I could just abandon them, tell them they're not my family anymore."
"No. The sturdiness of my.own voice caught me of guard, "You do not abandon your family. Families stick together."
"What about yours then?" Jack growled, angry that I'd stuck up for anything, he didn't believe I should have an opinion, "Where are your family Anna?"
"That's different." I grimaced, "I didn't leave them. They left me."
"But you're still not sticking together. So what about families stick together?" He mocked. I jerked away from the table and stood up, Billy stirring from his sleep.
"They weren't family." I hissed, "They were never there for me. Yours is, so don't take it for granted."
"Maybe I will!" He shouted, making Billy whimper slightly, his little fingers grasping around my thumb, "Why should I listen to you? You're not the boss of me!"
I sighed in frustration and walked towards the door. But as I reached it, Jack's hand slapped across my face. I stared at him in shock, his eyes were fixed on his hand. He looked as if he couldn't believe what he'd just done, and he looked up to apologise. But the damage was already done.
"We're going." I grimaced, "Come home whenever you're ready, but you're sleeping on the sofa. I'm not sharing anything else with you."
He stood with his mouth wide open as I turned my back on him and walked away.
"We'll get a taxi. Your car's stupid." I shouted over my shoulder, not caring that what I'd said was pathetic. That was the next step towards the end. That's when we all started to fall apart.
Well Mr Sheehan, I think I'll leave it there. I'm not in the mood to write anymore tonight. It's nearly 11, and I have to be up at 6. I have an interview for a job. Not much,.just office work. Billy's wanting a guitar for his birthday this year, but I just don't have the money. So I figured I needed a job. Wish me luck. Maybe it's the right time now for me to say I hope you're well. Hmm, maybe I'm beginning to forgive you again. We'll see.
From
Anna
A/N I know I said earlier I wasn't updating today, but I changed my.mind haha Sorry it's rubbish, my mind's not working that well today, so I did the best I could :) Thanks for reading
