The Timing of the Loss of a Love

Chapter Five

Hello! Sorry this has taken me so long. I've been super busy and has extreme writers block cause I don't want to push on my plan too suddenly.😈
This chapter is devoted to Elise_M_Gibbs for encouraging my continuation of the story. Hope you enjoy, and sorry if it's short! But there will be more to come soon!!
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It had been several days since the news of Madame Lea, and I'd been moved to my bedroom upstairs. Eramif cared for me daily- only leaving my side if I requested so.

My heart still ached for the dead. Madame Lea's death had completely changed my life. She was my mother, in a sense. She'd cared for me since I was young. I loved her more than words could say. But now she was gone. I had great difficulty wrapping my head around the fact that nothing I could do would ever change the fact that she was gone.

Part of me felt betrayed. How could she leave me? The note informing us of her death held no detail as to how she'd come to pass.

Her face was all I saw in my waking hours. Her memory filled and consumed me. I decided, one day, that I was never going to completely heal from her absence, and I knew I'd have to accept that.

A loud hollow thud startled me back into reality. The door slowly creaked open, permitting Eramif access to the room. He held a large wooden tray in his hands, holding my lunch.

I generally did my best not to talk to him more than I needed to. It was awkward knowing how he felt and knowing I was practically incapable of love at this point.

"Mistress, your lunch." He smiled politely setting the tray across my lap.

"Thank you," I said not looking him in the eye.

"Mistress, may I speak with you?" he said as he sat in the chair next to my bed. I couldn't refuse. I had no power. I couldn't stand... I couldn't walk... anything. Eramif was my complete care taker...

"Mistress you are unwell, but forgive me...I wonder if it is completely against your will? Now, do not be offended. I simply know that you have suffered much heart ache in the past few weeks. You've been locked up in your room for a very long time, and what's more, you're not doing anything for any sort of entertainment. Is there nothing you would rather be doing?"

"No." I said immediately. Gently but firmly. My illness was partly me body and again my will. But much of it was me shutting myself down. Everything I'd ever loved was gone.

"Mistress, if you do not take up some sort of hobby I will be forced to move you again. You will see a doctor or go to a hospital if this does not improve."

"Eramif, I told you I will do nothing of--"

" I will not be responsible for your death!"

Silence followed the few moments after. His eyes glazed over with long hidden sadness and tears.

"I will not stand by while you waste your life. Acrista... I sympathize greatly for you. I am very sorry that you've gone through what you have. But I will not allow you to kill yourself."

"Then what do you suggest?.." I asked slowly with a hint of ice in my voice.

"Whatever you wish. What is something you've ever wanted to do? Read? Draw? Paint? Anything. I will find supplies, and if need be a tutor as well."

"No tutor!" I replied sharply. "Anything I choose, there will be books of instruction...I will simply teach myself."

"Fine." He said quickly. "Name it."

I hesitated. I had no idea what I was supposed to do? A chill swept over the room. Gone as suddenly as it came. Then it hit me.

"Knitting or crocheting. I wish to start with blankets. I will need yarn and the necessary needles as well as the instruction books... Does my request please you?"

He looked at me with a blank expression for a moment. Then a small grin graced his face.

Yes." He said gently. "I'll be back in an hour." And with that, he gracefully stood and left the room.