End It

father

I woke up at 10pm
It was officially the first day of holiday  2 months.
What fun im gonna have.

I sat up an looked around at my empty blank room.
Only some drawings an posters hung on the wall.

I got up an walked to my black dresser. I grabed the top shirt an jeans. Ended up to be my PTV band tee an just black jeans.

I went into the bathroom an looked into the mirror. Sadness came over me like a wave.
I hated what i saw.

I took off my clothes an changed into the new ones.
I then brushed my hair an teeth an then did a little makeup like usually. Then i went an sat on my bed an turned on the tv. I just put it on CN.

Thats when my phone went off. I checked it. It was jackson.

[Hey Eli i hope your ready to have a great day!!!]
[Were gonna have alote of fun!!!
Going to the movies an the mall then we can go eat!]

I texted it back

[Sounds fun can't wait.]

I wasnt really up for it but i had nothing else to do an going out is better than staying in this hell hole.

I watched T.V. untill 11:50.
Then i turned it off. An grabed my phone.
I got up an walked down stairs.
My dad was in the kitchen.
He was smoking an cigarette an drinking coffee.

"Hey you come here." Dad
I walked to him yea?

"Where you heading off to?"
"Im just gonna go hang out for awhile."

"Listen dear, i know i haven't been around much an that isnt your fault." Dad

I didn't want to hear this so i started to walk away.

"Hey damn it!" Dad
"What you have been gone for so long i dont you anymore!"

"That isnt my fault!!!" Dad
"Than who's is it then!?!"

He then came up an slaped me.
I started to cry. I held the side of my face an then i took off running out the door.

"Eli! I didn't mean it!!" Dad

I was already out the door.
I ran down the block.
I wiped the tears from my face.
It was bright out. Very sunny with a blue sky. I sat down on the side walk an waited it was now 12pm.

Why did my father have to leave!?!
He hates me my mom an my brothers all of us.
He would rather be out doing drugs with his sluts!!!.

He left when i was just comming up. Right befor i was diagnosed with my "disorders" an as soon as he found out that his sons were losers an his daughter was "fucked in the head" he left.
Thats why my mother started to drink.

Well it wasnt all his fault.
My father was also know as
"Mentally unstable".
His father hated him an his mother was a hooker.
He was in numerous homes as a child.

So i guess thays why he was like his father an thats how i am now.
I guess i set him off knowing i was like him. He hated it. That i was messed up like him.