After the argument, mum didn't speak to me for a while as I didn't speak to her...for two days straight. I know it sounds crappy of me to leave my Mum hanging like that but she just told her kid that she wished that she would die. Not great bonding material. Not for me anyway.
I sit and I eat and I take my meds and think. I also cry. A lot. I guess that's what you do when you have nothing left. Nothing left to give. Nothing left to do. Well... that's a lie. There is one thing I needed to do. But that plan halted in its tracks a long time ago. So I guess I'll just put it to rest. Mark was never going to come back. Not if I bought a plane ticket to France. Not if I found his school. Not if I begged him to return with me so I can spend my last days in his arms. Never. Because you see, I lied before. I knew where he was. I thought it would be better to believe that he left. Left me behind. Because he did! He left ME behind. I will NEVER forgive him for that. Never. He got given an opportunity that his bed ridden best friend could stop him from taking. Private School in France. What a game changer. No need to stay behind and be surrounded by IV fluids and a girl. A girl he knew for years. Years and years and years...
Loneliness is all consuming at times. It's funny, you never really feel alone until you think about it. Don't think too hard though. It's just difficult, you know? Being the one left behind. Here. Alone. I suppose I have mum. I wish I had him.
We don't all get want we want though. No. We don't all get what we want...
YOU ARE READING
Too late
Fiksi RemajaRuth's sick. She has been for a long time. That's not going to change. Mark her best friend, is her support system, always there when things get tough. But then... he's not there anymore, and Ruth wants him back.
