Life

Summer!! (2016)

Note- sorry it's been awhile since I updated  stuff got crazy and my phone broke. Thanks for reading.

So after school ended I started swim team up again I only do it in the summer but it's a huge stress reliever and I love it. I'm not amazing at it and I'm no Michael Phelps but I love it. It's the one thing that I do for me with out worrying about how good I am or if people will judge me. Last summer was the best time of my life probably. That summer was like your text book summer. Driving down back roads with the windows rolled down with your friends and the music blaring. That's how I spent most of it. So my best, or closest, or longest friendship is with Lauralynn. Her mom and aunt were best friends growing up but when Laur was like 5 her mom got in a wreck and died. She has been through a lot, but so have I, I guess so she helps me through a lot of stuff and I help her. She started dating my uncle (who is pretty much my brother.) And he was 16 almost 17 and she was 13 almost 14. It was great. She said he was like making her less depressed or something but when they broke up, or in the process she was going in a downhill spiral. She started sleeping around with like 18 year olds smoking weed and cigarettes. And cutting a lot. After our summer of windows rolled down and the wind in our hair she just wasn't doing good at all. After that the next thing I know I haven't seen her in 7 months and haven't even heard from her. Then I hear that she went to Lakeland, which is a place where they take care of your mental health and your stuck there for awhile.  She said it was terrible and didn't help her and she just kept doing what she was doing but the thing that finally changed her heart was her dad's girlfriend.   (she's still going to therapy though,obviously) that might sound weird but it's true. Her 1st husband died in a wreck and she is a really good Christian and so is her son and they have helped her out a lot. Laur and I are close again because she has changed so much. Even if I kinda haven't. I feel like an immature little kid sometimes when I'm around her because she is telling me stuff about how she's doing, which is great and I love it and her, but I'm not in the same place that she is and it makes me upset. But that's just me being sensitive. So near the end off the summer (when Laur and Bryant broke up) I started hanging out with my all time favorite best friend ever. We have a weird friendship. We are like more than friends kinda witch sounds weird, like we're gay. But we aren't really. It's hard to explain, and hard to understand myself. I love her so much and we have had an amazing friendship but I feel like it's not going good right now. We have been through so much together good times and bad and we are always there for each other even when she does something that some people see as unforgivable. But I will talk about all that later. So the best summer of my life came to an end. I rode a train to the grand Canyon, where i met some new friends. went to South Padre island Texas, where I had a sand castle building lesson went to snorkeling and went on a dolphin watch. But then school started and my anxiety came back. During the school year I would have a panic attack almost every night and I couldn't sleep unless I took a sleeping pill because school for some reason just gave me terrible anxiety. I just powered through though. I couldn't bother my mom and tell her about how bad I felt and make her anxiety worse, hers is worse than mine sometimes so I try to keep my problems to myself. But near the end of first quarter my parents called a family meeting. They asked us what we thought about homeschooling. I honestly had a panic attack. But after I thought about it for awhile I decided that it could be a good thing. So at the end of 1st quarter my parents took me and my siblimgs/uncles out of chcs. Bryant was pretty upset because that meant that he wasn't as close to his dealer. He mostly only smokes weed so really he could have any dealer but non as good as kaiser, apparently. So we were home schooled and everything was going great, but in my life anytime everything is going great it means that it's all going to go downhill fast and soon.