ONE EYED BOY [C. Grimes][Rarl]

god

in which a "strong man" roars like a tiger

_

Rick Grimes is a fucking bitch.

And as his son, I mean that sincerely.

I'm so pleased that this tiger, this savage, partly wild, 700-pound tigress, could save me when my own father couldn't. I'm so glad that this she-cat, with an impulse control smaller than Michonne when presented with candy bars, jumped out into the middle of a fire fight and ripped a guy apart while my dad sat by and watched me almost become ground meat.

A war hero. Honestly, she is. Her fur is soft. My fingers comb through it like it's silk and she doesn't seem to mind, a faint purr rumbling in her chest.

It's so strange; how she acts like a house cat one moment, and a beast another.

"Shiva" is the name of a Hindu god. He's terrifying, the god of destruction, but also restoration. He's seen as both gentle and ruthless, at the same time. Ezekiel told me about it. He told me about her name sake because he said he thought it'd be important to me. I asked him if he knew what my name meant. He laughed and said he knew a lot of things, but not of my journey.

That bothers me. I don't know why, though.

Shiva isn't allowed out of her cage; not when Ezekiel isn't around. I wish she was, but at the same time, I'm glad. After the close call with Lucille, and witnessing Shiva's claws and fangs at work, I don't think my luck is going to last me much longer.

She's calm now, though, her eyes closed and her breaths even. She snorts a little, she makes little chirping noises. That's good, according to Ezekiel. It means she's being verbal but 'polite', whatever that means.

"Why are you out of bed?" My dad's voice startles us both. I pull my gun and I hear Shiva snarl deeply, on her feet, pacing within the split second.

He stands in the doorway to the cage room, where Shiva is kept, hand on the frame.

"I was petting the tiger," I say softly, but my voice shakes slightly. "You know, seeing as she saved my life and all."

The silent is thick and heavy, the only noise being the padding of Shiva's paws as she paces behind the bars, eyeing my father like the hunk of meat that he is.

I feel like a caged tiger, too. I wish I had sharp claws and a horrible roar that made people scatter. Maybe then my dad would fuck off.

"Why, are you suddenly involved in my survival?"

"Carl-" He starts and I know he's already prepared a speech to throw at me, about how it was all about tactic and he wouldn't have let anything bad happen to me.

"No, eat shit, Rick!" Shiva spits a deep growl behind my words, as if pushing me forward in my anger.

"You were ready to watch it happen! You were ready to sit by, just like you did with Abraham! Just like you did with GLENN."

He's just staring now, watching me with his cold blue eyes that match mine. It's sickening to see the dead look, gazing back at me, knowing my eye looks the same.

Blue, cold, unfeeling.

"If Ezekiel hadn't shown up, if THAT tiger hadn't shown up when she did, I'd be DEAD."

"I wouldn't have let him," He says, but I shout over him.

"HE WAS SWINGING! HE WAS MID-FUCKING-SWING," but he's leaving, he's walking away. I don't care. I turn back to Shiva. I watch her pace.

I'm a caged tiger. I toy with the lock. Her flat, broad, nose bumps my hand. I stop.

Behind me, Ezekiel speaks, and Shiva doesn't roar this time.

"'Carl' means 'Strong Man'," he says.

I laugh.

That's painfully stupid, a stupid name for a stupid kid.