Fear's Union

Chapter Thirteen

-Xen-

It was the worst journey of Xen's life. But it was also worse than that. For her and Keles, this place was usually associated with joy. But not today. There was just the threat of what was coming, but she still had no idea.

She looked around at the scenery, familiar and yet strangely hostile. The rest of l'Unna seemed so desolate compared to Ahan. All around them was an unending expanse of parched brown scrub; wiry grass and skeletal trees. Mother Bright beat down upon them with relentless uniformity, and she was sweaty in her clothes. Filthy.

Yet there was no easing in their pace. Her outer self was burning under the sun, and yet inside she was cold with dread. That feeling had been mounting since they'd left Ahan. Why was he making her wait?

Keles had been acting cold since before the start of their journey. There was absolutely no explanation for it, and for her own sanity she'd blocked it out of her head. But every time they interacted, it pounced on her again: his coldness. Why?

This was a familiar path they were treading, the road to a small village within the boundary of the Mikaetan Empire. It was enemy territory, but the isolation offered room for them to be together. Away from prying eyes. It usually took two days to reach the hamlet, a place where they stayed regularly in the rented rooms of a farmhouse. It was probably expensive for what it was, but it was a small price for what it gave them. She had no doubt that the patrons were aware of their allegiance, but gold crossed many boundaries.

And it wasn't like Keles had much else to spend his wealth on. The Academy kept him in everything he required, and even without that he was the adopted son of the Consul. He had the most powerful family in Ahan behind him, even if he didn't have the name himself. She played with a solid gold bangle, a present from him. It was from a time when he was warmer.

"Do we have to travel in silence?" It was still half a day until they reached their destination, but she could not wait. She couldn't stand it any longer.

"I am thinking."

She was behind him on his horse, arms looped around his waist. She loved everything about this man, she was sure she did. Apart from his current mood. Why was he acting so foul? And why did he want to bring her all this way just to act distant? He needed to tell her something, that much was obvious, but he wouldn't go through with it. He was stuttering. Why?

"Thinking about what?"

He didn't respond, so she guessed. She needed to break through this frost somehow. She slid her hands down his torso, drawing close to his pelvic bone. He jolted, and pulled her hands away. He wasn't after that, then.

She really couldn't fathom what the purpose of this journey was. She'd started out with a real sense of alarm, but with the lingering silence it had turned into something much colder. Scarier. He must still want to be with her, otherwise there was no reason to be trekking to their private place. So the mood must be about something else, but what? And why wouldn't he just tell her? Damn him. She had to keep trying. That usually worked.

"What's wrong?"

He twisted sharply. "Nothing is wrong. Can we not just sit silently for a short while?"

His temper never flashed like that. She the one with the volatile streak. But actually, a day and a half was not a 'short while'. She didn't care anymore.

Rebellion gripped her, and she shuffled along the back of their mount. Keles turned, scowling, so she smiled back and jumped off. She landed clumsily, landing on her back and grimacing. Those injuries were still very fresh. How had she forgotten that?