Diary Of The Unappreciated

April 12 2017

To you, dear reader I ask; Do you have any siblings?? Little family members who you are forced to take care of on the count that you are the oldest?? Little demons that keep destroying your little world of peace bit by bit for their own benefitiant entertainment ?? Well if you do then this chapter is all about you!

Now I know that a large number of people who will read this piece will either disagree with it or dismiss it entirely but to those I say now that I hold no ill will towards you. I mean what kind of person would it make me if I started going ballistic and pulling a I am right and you are wrong, all people are the same kind of card. Personally I feel that if I started doing that then steps should be taken to make sure that I land inside a Siberian Mental Facility ( No effence to any and all Siberian readers, its just that your mental facilities' methods are very hard core, or so I have heard )

So no, this chapter is about my experience and my feelings. I mean after all, it is my diary.

But to those of you who have siblings and think they can relate, I ask of you to not break me down but to lend me your ear for on this moment and many more to come, I shall be giving you my heart on a silver platter and rendering myself very vulnerable to any and all attacks headed my way.

Now I am a simple person. I like reading, socializing, watching movies and doing everyday things that teens like to do. If I had to describe myself in one word it would be vivacious. I have a very bubbly personality and have the ability to make anyone feel better after a bad day.

I know this sounds like I am introducing myself into an online dating site but please bear with me.

What I have described is mostly who I am with my friends and at school, now prepare to meet my complete opposite.

At him I'm silent, submissive, I do as I'm told and I don't like communication that much. I would love to watch the telly now and then but I have unfortunately been banned by the "Queen Bees" of the place, ( more like queen bitches if u ask me ).

Now these two people are total opposites to each other and they both reside within my being. Identity crisis much?? I think so. Extrovert and Introvert are two different personality traits that should not under any circumstances be in the same person at the same time. But alas life is a cruel mistress and has decided to not give me the second personality trait but force it into me.

I mean I am at the point where I am forced to ask myself the question of the century more than the average person:

WHO am I.

Having the worst of multiple worlds is not easy. I mean I have two people residing within me, occupying the same space but yet at the same time I am being torn apart. Forced into submission to try and keep the peace every single time so that my folks can go to sleep without a headache. That's a norm I would say. What isn't the norm is that it is constantly me being forced into submission.

I mean I understand if you don't like me, I mean sibling rivalry is alive in every and all places in the world. I don't care about that but what I would like and appreciate is the respect that I deserve not only from the siblings as being the older brother but also from the folks not only as their child, but as an adult.

But one cant always get what they want can they. Treated like shit by your folks infront of your siblings and the treated even worse by your siblings in front of your parents and not even able to defend yourself because should you dare to open your mouth you get backhanded for disrespect against your elders.

Now I ain't going to cry and say its unfair because I have learned that fairness, like beauty and music,is determined by the beholder.

Instead of praised for the good work you do, you get broken down for the good work you could've done. Instead of asked for something that you would gladly do you get forced by the Queens bodyguard and protector to do it against your will.

Pushed to the point where I have gladly invited the Reaper to my door, I sit and ask myself why have I not invited him in. Why have I not grasped his hand and allowed him to take me to a better place. Standing face to face with Death, it could all get easier, all of it could be ended by inviting him in but yet...

Now I will say it again. Not everyone will care much for this book but I hold no ill intend towards you no, but to you who reads this and empathizes with me, I appreciate it. To this who can sympathise, I ask you to please share your stories with me so that I may be able to know and acknowledge you as my unappreciated brethren.

Till the next entry:
--- Wolf