Accidentally ; H2O Delirious

Twenty.

Needless to say, Sadie was pissed. She took one look at Jon and nearly started crying. She began doing that pacing and talking to herself thing that she was so good at. Jon and I sat like children being scolded on the couch. Again.

We had told her Jonathan had gotten into a bar fight defending my honor from some guy who was hitting on me. Sadie believed it without question, probably because it wasn't too long ago that he had gotten into a fight with Josh. My stomach rolled at the thought of him. UGH. How could I have ever wanted that gross pig?

Sadie was also pissed because we hadn't been out in public together all that much lately, and we only had 3 months left in our 'arranged' marriage, so she wanted as much publicity as possible.

Sadie suddenly stopped in her pacing, "I have an idea! We could tell everyone Y/N's pregnant! That'll get the paps all over you guys!"

I raised my hand slowly, "Uhh, what's going to happen when I don't get fat and don't have a baby in 9 months?"

Sadie looked at me like I was stupid, "Those are just details. We'll make you have a miscarriage or something, and then you can be heartbroken and cheat on Jonathan! Yes! This is perfect! 3 months is plenty of time!" She looked at my stomach, "It won't be that far of a stretch anyways."

I gasped, what was with all the digs at my weight lately! Fuck her. Sometimes I felt like Sadie was asking me to punch her in the throat.

Delirious looked at me with worry in his eyes; I knew instantly what he was thinking. What would Derek do if he thought I was pregnant? What would my dad do?

"Look, Sadie I really don't think this is a good idea." Delirious said.

"Nonsense! This is perfect! How do you guys feel about being pregnant tomorrow?" She clearly wasn't actually asking, because she said it as she walked out the door.

"Fuck," I groaned, "This isn't going to end well."

"No it isn't" Delirious agreed.

"God, isn't it weird to think we've been married for three months?" I asked, in the beginning I thought this marriage would never end; now it was going by really quickly and I secretly wanted it to slow down. I mean how often do you accidentally marry an internet superstar?

"I know, and to think you still hit me in your sleep. Even last night when I'm practically on my death bed, you punch me in the mouth." He pointed to where there was a cut on his lip, "Your ring did that to me! It hurts!" My ring?

"So you can get beaten up by some giant and not complain, but me lightly punching you in the face makes you almost cry?" I teased.

"Hey, don't sell yourself short, you hit pretty hard for a girl." Delirious got up off the couch and wondered into the kitchen.

"Um, excuse me dickhead," I said getting up and following him, "I don't appreciate the sexism."

"'I don't appreciate the sexism'" He said mocking me in a high voice.

I shot him my middle finger, "Douche."

He rolled his eyes, "Whatever, at least I don't turn into a psychopathic manic once a month."

I gasped. "I don't not!"

"Y/N... come on, you do. 2 weeks ago you nearly cut my balls off because I took a little too long in the shower. You threatened me with your razor."

I had to give him that one, "I was having a bad day, ok? Anyways, speaking of showers I'm going to go take one now."

"Just don't threaten anyone while you do."

Asshole.

As I turned on the shower I could hear all the boys coming home. I had really missed them, I felt like it had been forever since I'd seen them which was weird because we lived together.

I got into the shower and I started doing my thing. I had my foot propped up on a shampoo bottle shaving my leg when out of nowhere there was a knock on the door. It surprised me so much, my foot slipped off the bottle and my razor cut my leg, badly.

I was lying on the shower floor, crying a little I might add, and bleeding all over the place when the knock came again. This time it came with a voice, it was Delirious. "Uhh, Y/N? Are you ok in there?"

"I'M FUCKING FABULOUS!" I yelled, "thanks to your obnoxious knocking I slipped while shaving my leg and now I am fucking bleeding all over the fucking place. So yeah, I'M GREAT!"

Delirious opened the door laughing, "Here, let me see."

He started to open up the shower curtain, but I quickly yelled, "What do you think you're doing?" and he stopped.

"Well, I'm trying to help my clumsy wife, is that not ok?" He was still chuckling.

"Not while I'm naked dumbass, hand me a shirt or something." I managed to stand up and turn the shower off. Damn it stung.

Delirious' hand stuck into the shower holding a shirt, I ripped it out of his hands. "Thanks." It was one of his
T-shirts, so it covered everything.

"You know, we are married. That means I haven't gotten any action in 3 months, so would it really be that bad if-"

"Yes." I threw on his shirt, "Alright, I guess you can help me now."

Delirious pushed back the curtain and rolled his eyes. He took one look at my leg and said, "Shit, you're going to need stiches." He grabbed an old beat up towel and held it against my leg, "here hold this." He leaned down to pick me up, but once again I stopped him.

"Excuse me, but some underwear and shorts would be nice to if were going out in public." He groaned and then walked over and got me some. Once I had put them on he picked me up easily, despite all the bruises.

He carried me downstairs past the boys, who all started laughing when Delirious told them what happened, and then out to the car.

"Don't bleed on the seats." Delirious said as he backed out and headed towards the hospital. He laughed, thinking he was so funny.

"Douche." I muttered.