AS#2: Lost And Found (Completed)

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Hindi ko alam na literal na tila titigil ang mundo isang punto sa buhay mo. I know I'm glad as fuck to see her face. Pero hindi pala talaga pwedeng puro saya lang. Pag sobra na, may kahalong pait at sakit iyon. Dahil iyon ang nararamdaman ko. Pinaghalo-halong emosyon na kahit kailan ay hindi ko naisip na pwedeng pagsamahin.

I love and hate how different she looks. She's like my Elle but she seems not.

Elle likes her clothes to actually fit. She doesn't wear too girly clothes but she wants them a little trendy yet unique. Its either she wear her hair down or tie it in a messy yet sexy way. She sometimes wear trendy eyeglasses but oftentimes she wears colorless contacts.

Looking at her now... I don't know what to feel. Ang sakit isipin na aabot siya sa ganito para pilitin ang sarili niyang kalimutan ako. All of these for an effort to forget me? If that doesn't bruise my heart and ego, I don't know what will.

I love and hate her too shinny black high heels shoes. I love and hate her long dark blue skirt. I love and hate her loose white blouse and those red checkered neck ties. I love and hate how her now black hair in a tight bun I swear she even sprayed something on it to stay too neat.

Like the way I remember her do it, she crossed her arms on her chest and look up at us on the stage. Whispers from the crowd are still audible. I can hear Jasmine and Kassandra sobbing on the front seats. I can see how Yu run down to her direction but I just don't care.

From afar, I swear she looked at me. Parang namanhid ang buo kong katawan. I can barely feel my feet. With those too proper-looking eyeglasses, I swear she looked at me.

Matagal niya akong tinitigan na parang sinusukat iyong kakayahan niyang tagalan na makita ako. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ang sakit isipin na kaya na niya. Na unti-unti... nararamdaman ko ang tuluyan niyang pagkawala sa'kin. Kasi kahit malayo siya, alam kong pag-aari ako ang parte ng lahat sa kanya. Pero ngayong palapit siya ng palapit, atsaka ko nararamdaman na pawala siya nang pawala. It's so ironic.

Sa bawat hakbang niya palapit, parang dibdib ko yung tinatapakan niya. I know I want her here but I don't want her moving on. Call me selfish or whatever but that's how I feel!

Mula sa mabagal niyang paglakad ay may tatlong babaeng sumalubong sa kanya. They are all wearing the same school uniform. Elle has always been the friendly one but I never imagined her befriending these kind of girls. The out-of-the-cliques types. Nerds, geeks or whatever you call 'em.

Tuloy tuloy siya palapit hanggang makasalubong niya si Yu at akbayan siya nito paakyat ng maliit na entablado. She's just a few feet away from me and my heart started to pound like it wanna go out of my rib cage.

Zee's smirking evilly at her while Ei hug her for a second. All the while she's just seriously looking at me. Hindi man nahahalata pero alam kong nanginginig ang mga tuhod ko. She's still the only girl who can make me tremble. And I don't even have the right to imagine the prospect of me and her together anymore.

Until she smiled at me. Fuck!

Hindi ko maintindihan! My feelings are so complex! Hindi ko maintindihan kung paanong ang saya-saya ko dahil nakikita ko siya pero ang sakit-sakit kasi... nakikita ko siya. Hindi ko alam kung paano akong nakakaramdam ng sakit habang tinitingnan ang ngiti niyang matagal kong inaalala lang!

It's not even an angry or sarcastic smile. It's a genuine, almost sad and... regretful kinda smile. Fuck! How can I be this crazy because of a simple smile?!

"So what's your song dear cousin?" Zee smiled playfully.

Mula sa akin ay lumipat ang ngiti niya kay Zee. I wanna punch the guy for ruining the moment. I want all her smiles and attention only for me kahit gaano kasakit iyon.