Existential Crisis ~ Phan

4

A/N - this chapter includes suicide so if you feel uncomfortable with this type of thing then please skip to the next one.

Slowly, I pulled my hand away from his neck and covered my face. I tried to stand up but just instantly fell back down to my knees. How? Why?

I could feel the tears beginning to build up in my eyes. They ran down my face like rivers at a rapid pace.
I could feel my heart sink lower than it ever has before and shatter into pieces. With this pain in my chest, I ran my hands through my fringe and gripped my hair tightly out of sheer stress and sadness.
What am I to do without him? He was everything to me!

I could feel myself big inning to feel faint and weak. I rushed to the kitchen and got a cup of water to hopefully keep me sane. I picked up a bottle of tablets that were next to the sink and swallowed a few of them dry.
I found some scrap paper and a pen that happened to be lying on the table and began to write. I tried to write with something that resembled handwriting but I was feeling too depressed and and my hands were too shakey to care.

I ripped the note from the sheet of paper and left to go back to Dan.

This was it. My end. I began to loose conciousness as I fainted with the note still in my hand.

This was it.

My life was over.