-The past when you were still Cide's pet-
Oh my god.
You actually were eating this disgusting food.
It has no flavor
It's bitter
No sweetness left
Why are you eating it?
You push the food away and just listen to the silence in the basement, no sound was mind.
YOu hAve TO gEt ThåT fOOd oUT.
No, no shut up! She doesn't want to!
IT's FoR heR oWn GOOD
No! Please stop!
DESpair Y/n DESPAIR
Leave her alone!
But it will forever remind you of the things he did to you.
True...
Hell is better than this.
You walk over to the bathroom almost as if you were in a trance. The thought of getting all that food out made you feel saddened and made you feel sad on the inside.
You enjoyed it.
"Get out!" You yell as you hit your stomach. "Get out dammit! Leave me alone!"
The food comes out almost on command, it satisfies you.
"That's it! Leave me alone! Don't ever come back! Just fuck off! I don't want to be reminded of him!"
It came out again.
"I fucking hate you! I FUCKING HATE YOU GODDAMMIT! JUST LEAVE ME TO DIE!"
Again.
"FUCK EVERYTHING! FUCK YOU! FUCK HIM! YOU GIVE ME NO POWER OVER MYSELF!"
And again.
"Is that all?! There's more than that! I know it's all in there! Get out get out get out!"
And again.
You don't stop. You keep pounding your stomach and making it spit out and throw up what had no flavor and what kept you alive.
You felt in control.
Nothing but ringing and you yelling at yourself.
YOu FeLt IN control!
Ha
Haha
Ahahahahahahahhahahaha
What was there left to hope for?
You only felt DESPAIR.
DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR DESPAIR
Die.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
The last ounce of food comes out and you smile at yourself.
But it's still not enough.
A KnIFe.
Yes.
A KnIFe.
Yes yes.
A KnIfe.
That's what you need.
You find a knife underneath your bed and press it against your skin, the cool feeling of the knife pressing into your flesh and the feeling of satisfaction as the blood pours onto the ground.
Yes.
It made you want more.
Arms.
Legs.
Chest.
Stomach.
More. More. MORE.
Arms
Legs
Chest
Stomach
Moremoremore!
Arms Legs Chest Stomach
MORE!
ArmsLegsChestStomach
Cheeks
Break one of the windows
Hear it crash!
Hear it crash!
Take the pills!
Feel the pain!
Feel the pain!
"Y/N!" A voice of true despair! "I'm back hon! Sorry I kept you waiting for so long! This one client just pissed me off! They wanted me to kill several people in just 1 hour! God, was he annoying."
"Cide!" That fucking disgusting act you put on. "I missed you, I missed you, I missed you!"
"I missed you too babe. I'm so happy to see my kitten again!"
Cide pulled you in close and hugged you tightly, your cuts began to hurt, but who cares?
"Oh Y/N..." he noticed the broken window. "Someone tried to steal you again?"
"I hid!" Lies. "I hid from them!
"Good girl! You're learning!"
You keep up the act and wait until Cide stops attacking you with kisses and feeding you that bitter food. He tucks you in and kisses you goodnight.
Oh how disgusting he is.
Cough up some more of the food, take the pills, play with death.
Death and Despair were your only friends.
YOU ARE READING
It seems that we're both CRAZY my dear (Izaya x Reader)
FanficIzaya huh? Seems fair. He's pretty good-looking. And he's a perfect match for you. You always thought that humans were interesting creatures. And know you're an info broker. With Izaya. It seems that you're both crazy.
