Losing Love

Chapter 5

Dara's palms were sweating as she made her way up to their CEO's office. She was nervous as hell. More than ten years in the company and she still haven't learned to control her nerves when it comes to their CEO.

The last time she went up was with the other members of 2ne1 right about the time that they disbanded. She was more depressed than nervous at that time and she had the girls for support. Now she was on her own.

The elevator doors dinged open. She stepped out, took a deep breath amd muttered to herself, "This is it, Sandara Park." Their president's PA looked up from the pile of papers on her desk and greeted her. "Sajangnim told me to let you in as soon as you arrive. Go on in."

Dara squared her shoulders, expelled the inspired air that she didn't notice she was holding. "Good morning, Sajangnim."

Their boss looked up and gestured at her to take the seat in front of his desk. "I'll just finish up these papers. Make yourself comfortable. You can get a coffee from the pantry if you want. This will take me a few minutes to finish up."

Dara nervously sat on the plush armchair. She didn't know what to do so she made her gaze travel across the room. She was not sure if it was a deliberate tactic of their boss to weaken their resolve before he swoops in for the kill but he would do this all the time. Making them wait. The waiting only further escalates the fear.

She lost track of the time. She was staring at the chair's upholstered arm as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. She was actually counting the number of red threads on it. She was already done with the black ones and the gold ones. A mindless task, but it temporarily calmed her nerves, distracting her from the dreaded scene that was about to happen in a few moments.

Yang Hyun Suk, finally done with his paperwork, looked up and found Dara totally engrossed with his office upholstery. Was there something remarkable there that he had missed? Last time he checked there was nothing extraordinary with the chair.

She was inaudibly mumbling something to herself. He shook his head in quiet amusement. More than 10 years and he still could not fully understand the workings of Dara's mind. He said before that Dara was a girl from Mars. He still holds the same opinion.

Yang Hyun Suk rearranged his papers for the second time. This time with more flair than necessary, hoping to catch Dara's attention. There was no response. He saw the girl shake her head and heard a tsking sound from her. She then resumed her furious study of the chair.

He cleared his throat. Dara jumped about a foot in surprise. She stood up straight then bowed repeatedly at her boss. "Sajangnim, I'm really sorry about what happened last night. It wasn't Jiy...GD's fault, Sajangnim. If you're going to punish someone it should be me, Sajangnim."

He chuckled. "Sit down Dara before you hit your head on my table."

"So sorry, Sajangnim. I'm going to sit down now." She sat straight on he chair. Her butt on the edge. Her fingers nervously combing through the ends of her hair. She looked at every where but him.

Hyun Suk put his hands together in front of him and eyed his talent curiously. "Dara pull your chair closer and turn it slightly so you're facing me. Don't sit stiffly like a military officer." Dara followed his instructions quickly but kept her eyes on the floor.

"I saw the videos, Dara. What can you say about them? Don't bullshit me. We both know it wasn't you who engineered the whole thing. I've known you for more than a decade, Dara. Jiyong even longer than that. Last night's fiasco had G-dragon's mark all over it. He was marking his territory."

He shook his head in self-reproach. "I overestimated his restraint. I thought he could withstand a few more years. He said he could wait until he's done with his military service. He could wait until 2021, he once told me but apparently he couldn't. Talk to me, Dara. What can you say about last night?" He spoke with a gentle but firm authority.

Dara finally looked up and met her boss's eyes. "Sir, with all due respect I never meant to create a scandal as big as this. I knew someday we would have to tell everyone about us but I haven't really thought as far as how or when we were going to tell the truth. I thought we would still have time later. The both of us were too busy. What with everything that's happened to 2ne1 and Big Bang's series of activities. We barely had time to talk. I didn't know that Jiyong's been having a hard time about all the secrecy." Dara was now looking down at her lap. Her fingers nervously twisting the ring on her index finger.

Hyun Suk sighed. "Do you know why I never gave you permission to go public?" Dara looked up and shook her head slowly.

"We are a family, Dara. I look at you as my children. I felt that the time wasn't right yet. You're not yet ready, Dara. Everyone likes you. You know why? Because despite you looking like you do you still show a certain awkwardness, a vulnerability that's uniquely yours. It's as if you still wake up every morning and find yourself surprised that the beautiful face you see in the mirror is yours. That's your peculiar charm."

Dara stared blankly at her boss. "That awkwardness endears you to everyone. Everyone is scared to be found lacking. But there you are, so beautiful yet you still put yourself out and show everyone that you are so awkwardly imperfect. That vulnerability makes everyone relate to you. But your particular charm is also your weakness. You're still awkward with everyone because you yourself don't have that much faith in yourself, Dara. In your current state, if you go public with Jiyong I'm afraid Sandara Park will get swallowed by all the magnificent glory of G-Dragon. I would have wanted you to find that faith in yourself first before I let you out to fly with the dragon."

He paused for a while allowing time for his words to sink in. "When you first started, remember how I removed you from the group, once? You were being complacent Dara. Unless something shakes you or unless you're being pushed to the wall you tend to go in inside yourself. You tend to let yourself be swallowed up by the personalities of people around you. They love you because you support them and let them shine. But sometimes you have got to let yourself show, too. If I didn't rattle you then, you would just have allowed yourself to fade in the background."

"Flying with GD will be a wondrous ride, Dara, but for how long will that heady rush last? I would want you to be able to fly on your own first before I send you out of the nest. If you're just riding with him, eventually you'll tire him. And you'll both start to resent each other. I've seen the both of you grow up. I've seen you both fall in love. I knew even before you both realized it. I was never against your relationship. I will support you just like I have done in the past. But honestly, right now I don't think it's the right time yet."

He looked Dara straight in the eye for a couple of seconds, breathed a sigh then said, "It's almost eleven. I'm giving you two options. This time I'll leave the decision up to you. It's your call now." She handed her two brown envelopes. "Read them. I'll wait for your decision until 3pm. If I don't hear from you by then, I'll assume that you'll go along with Option A. The publicity team will start the necessary actions by 3pm. Whatever you choose I'll do my best to support your decision."

Dara stood up. Bowed respectfully at Yang Hyun Suk. "Thank you, Sajangnim. I'll think about what you've said. Thank you." She went out and quietly closed the door behind her. She closed her eyes and for a moment rested her back on the door before walking wearily towards the elevator.