Nothing But Trouble

Chapter 7

Lucia's POV

"What happened last night and today are both because of the same thing..." My voice came out shakier than I wanted it to. I wanted to tell Bishop. I'm not sure why, but I felt like I could trust him to know this. I needed to tell someone, so that I could feel somewhat free.

Lies. You'll never be free.

"Before I moved here, as you know, I lived in Los Angeles. Okay well let's skip over the obvious, because no one likes the obvious. Well anyways, back in Los Angeles I lived with my mom and dad. You're probably wondering about my mom. She was amazing. She was my best friend in the entire world and she knew more about me than I knew about me. Well, if you haven't guessed yet, she's dead. But I'll get to that in a minute." I paused for a minute taking in Bishop's features. His beautiful gray eyes looked into my eyes, like he could see into my very soul with that look and tell you all of my secrets before they even left my mouth.

"I had a boyfriend. Rafielle. He was perfect. Almost perfect." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, wiping a traitorous tear from my eye at the mention of his name.

"Rafielle was the type of guy your parents wanted you to stay away from, and that your friends warned you about. He was the typical player. The typical badboy. But he was mine. I had never been as happy as I was when I was with Rafi. He was perfect for me. He pushed my limits like no one else could, he challenged me to do things I normally wouldn't do, and he broke me out of the shell that I lived in. He made me fall in love so fast. HE fell in love so fast. I loved him with all of my heart. I would have went to the end of the world for him. He was all I had ever dreamed of. He was rough around the edges, hell, he was rough in general to anyone you asked. But to me, he was just Rafi. He was the one who held me when I was sad and kissed away the tears. The one who made me laugh so hard that I actually pissed my pants and then gave me clean clothes after laughing to the point of tears. The one who never let me stop smiling. The one who made me feel like I was the only girl in the world. The sun and the stars, because how do the stars shine without the sun to illuminate their beauty?" My eyes watered again talking about him.

Your heart will always belong to him, no matter what.

Traitorous heart.

"The thing is though, while he was my perfect, he was no saint. He was no angel. Sometime after we started dating, I noticed he would ignore my calls for hours at a time. He would stay gone with no word, sometimes for days at a time. I was worried for him. I was scared because there had been rumours that he was involved in some illegal things. So one day when he left my house saying that he had to be somewhere, I followed him. I followed him all the way to an abandoned warehouse in downtown LA and waited for him to come out. I waited for hours, and when he did come out, he came out with some creepy looking guys. I followed them until they parted ways a couple of blocks on up the road. I came out from my hiding spot and I screamed his name until he slowly turned and looked at me. The look in his eyes. God, I'll never forget the look in his eyes. Fear. I had never seen Rafi scared before in the whole year and a half that we had been together. I screamed and screamed at him that I wanted answers to what it was that he was doing and that I had a right to know."

"The fear turned into shame. Shame of what he was telling me. He was in a gang. They did everything from doing, dealing and making drugs, to robbing places, to illegal racing, to murdering people. He was ashamed. I don't blame him, because that isn't a good lifestyle, but, I was so head over heels in love with him that it didn't matter to me. I didn't care what he was involved in as long as I still had him. He cried. He didn't want me to know, he was afraid I would think less of him and leave him. But I couldn't do that. I could never do that. He was my air. He was my whole life. Rafi had a hard exterior, but on the inside was a guy who was insecure, who was to afraid of losing anymore people in his life. He had already lost his whole family, except his grandma who he lived with, to a car crash. But like I said, I would have done anything as long as he was with me."