Nothing But Trouble

Chapter 9

Rafielle's POV

I laid in my bed with swollen eyes from crying. I've skipped so many days of school, I'm not even sure if I could go back.

If she were still here, she would make me go. She would tell me to suck it up buttercup and get my ass to school so we could have a future together.

But she isn't here. And she isn't coming back. And right now, we have no future.

"Rafi...?" Grandma's voice floated through the door. "Come eat mijo, you need to keep your strength." I swiped at my face and opened the door. Grandma's eyes softened when she saw me so broken. "Oh my, Rafi, everything will be okay." I fell into grandma's outstretched arms and cried more broken tears.

"How can everything be alright when she isn't here? How am I supposed to go on? I want to die without her here." Grandmas eyed me with that look grandmas give you when they can't believe you just said something.

"Now listen to me, mijo. If it is meant to be, she will be back, if not then at least you will know that you loved her with every ounce of your being and didn't falter from the hearts ways. What I want you to do now is dry those tears, wipe your nose and come eat with my old bones, leave the worry behind for a while." She patted my cheek softly, smiled and walked towards the kitchen. I leaned my head against the wall and sighed. Grandma was right, if it was meant to be she will be back.

At least I pray she will be back

After days of not getting out of the house, I decided it was time to go back to trying to live.

First things first, go back to school.

Second, find a way out of what ruined my life. The gang.

I quickly slid on some faded blue jeans, a white wife beater and my roughed up leather jacket and ran out of the house to school.

It's going to be so hard facing all of our friends. Just another painful reminder that she's gone.

I quickly shoot her off a text.

Text message to Lucia Michaels:

Going back to school today, wish you were still here. I love you, Rafi.

Text message to Lucia Michaels sent at 7:45am.

I sighed as I slid my phone back in my pocket. This was going to be a long day.

I walked through the doors of Graycourt High and was met by several people I know.

Jacobies eyes widened in surprise when he saw me, he probably didn't expect me to ever come back, but I have to do this. Maybe if I do this, she will see I'm still trying to make that future that we planned out.

"Dude it's been like a month since I've seen you here!" I shrugged like it was no big deal. I haven't seen or talked to anyone.

"Shit happens bro." He gave me a small smile. I'm sure they all know by now that she's gone. I wish she wasn't. She was the light of this school. Everyone knew her, she was popular and well liked among everyone, but she didn't care about that. She never turned away from anyone that talked to her, never made anyone feel like they were less equal than her. She was the type of person people gravitated to. And now she isn't here.

"So... I hate to bring this up... but how have you been holding up since she left? Do you know if she's coming back?" I felt a twinge of pain in my heart talking about her. You would think she was dead with the way I've been talking, but no. She is very much alive, but still very much gone.

"It's been rough. And I don't think she is..." He gave me a pity smile. I hate that. I don't want pity from my own best friend. I want help finding her. "Let's just get to class now."

I breezed past him and everyone else that was gawking at me and went into my first class. Chemistry. My teacher gave me an odd look but I just scowled and walked to my seat where someone was already sitting. I glared, I wasn't in the mood for this today.

"Get the fuck out of my seat before I move you myself." The girl looked up. She cocked an eyebrow at me.

"Find a new seat, this ones mine now." She smirked at me. I didn't like her one bit. She turned her head slightly to the side and made a shooing motion with her hand. Like I said I wasn't in the mood for this today so I just walked farther back and took a seat at the very back next to the window. I probably looked like a loner, but that makes it better cause I want to be left alone.

After several agonizing hours and a thousand 'hope it gets easier's' later I'm finally out of school.

I can finally do what I've been wanting to do all day.

I made my way into the slums of the city until I reached the warehouse. I looked around for cops before I went in.

"Finally showing your face around here again?" I looked over at Liam, never really liked him. I'll be glad to get out of this pathetic life.

"Looks like I am." I walked on past him further into the building where the boss is. I looked over at Marc who gave me a small nod to go on in.

I opened the door and the putrid smell of smoke and alcohol hit my nose. I took a deep breath and stepped into the room.

"Boss." I speak calmly and he turns and looks at me.

"Rafi, nice of you to finally show up." I sighed.

"I would say I'm here with good news, but I'm not. I want out." His eyes almost popped out of his head.

"You've been in this gang for four years and you just all of a sudden want out?!" I wanted to shrink in on myself when he raised his voice, but I would not show him I'm weak.

"Yes. I need to get out. There's things going on that I need straighten out. And I can't do that if I'm in this gang." He stared at me as if contemplating my words.

"Sure it isn't because of that girl making you freeze at the robbery?" I grit my teeth in anger. How dare he bring her up!

"Yes I'm sure. I just can't do this anymore. An innocent woman died because of that robbery and I can't pretend like it doesn't bother me. I don't want to live this life anymore. If you want to kill me, do it. If you want to let me walk out, fine. And if you want to beat me until I barely remember my own name, go ahead. I'm done though. I want out!" He sat there staring at me with his hands clasped as if he was contemplating the options. Good. I want the fucker to contemplate them. I'm so done with all of this. This gang is the reason Lucia had to leave. The reason why I have to face everything without her. If I have to die today so be it.

"You can leave. But just remember, you better sleep with one eye open, because you won't know when I'm going to come for you. And I will come for you. I want you to remember though, the fear that is going to course through your veins when you think about me again. I'm not done with you yet." I shivered on the inside, because I know it isn't an empty threat. It's a promise. I don't let him see me weak though as I turn and walk out of this godforsaken warehouse. I walk out with what appears to be confident strides and my head held high, but on the inside I feel like crawling out through the vents. 

I guess he meant it when he said I'll feel fear when I think of his name again.