Nothing But Trouble

Chapter 8

A/N I just wanted to say, I really hope you guys are liking the story so far, so pleaseeee comment, vote and share! It would be like, highly appreciated!

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One month.  One month since I got out of the hospital. One month since I told Bishop all of the secrets I couldn't keep. One month of mentally slapping myself for spilling my guts. One month of no Rafi. One more month that I haven't wanted to live.

I don't think it's ever going to get easier. I don't think I can go on like this. Just when I think I'm getting better, something sends me over the edge. 

At least I have someone to talk to about it. Our friends don't understand why we spend so much time together. I told them the panic attack was due to stress. They wanted to know more, but Bishop told them not to put so much stress on me so they quit asking. Since Bishop and I have started spending so much time together, they think we like each other. They don't know that I'm probably incapable of loving anyone else.

That my heart is still in LA. 

That I'm really just a ghost of a girl I once knew walking around pretending to be someone I'm not.

"Lucia, you in there?" Kara's voice cut through the door of the bathroom stall that I was hiding in thinking. My grades have really been slipping since I've been here, but my mind is to preoccupied with other thoughts to give a damn about school. I quickly dried my eyes and replied to her.

"Yeah, I'm coming, just give me a minute." I took a deep breath.

Inhale slowly, exhale silently.

I opened the door and walked of the stall. I flipped my hair and flashed Kara a cheesy grin. She smiled back. She doesn't know that the smile is fake. It's not that I don't like her, it's just that I don't have a very good reason to smile anymore.

Call him, contact him, do something.

No. I can't do that. If I contact him, he will want to know where I am and beg me to come back. I can't come back no matter how bad I want to, Rafi, and oh how I want to.

I hadn't realized that I had walked out of the bathroom with Kara following me talking. I was to zoned out to know. 

"And then, Devon actually punched him and now he's suspended!" I stopped and blinked in confusion.

"Wait. Who did Devon punch?" She rolled her eyes and repeated herself.

"He punched Marcus Jones. I literally just told you that. Were you not listening?" 

"No, sorry, I had something on my mind." I sighed, tired of it all. Tired of living. Of pretending.

"You do that a lot you know. I mean, get lost in your own mind and go somewhere else. What are you even thinking about? Oh I know, probably how hot Bishop looks when you two sneak off." She smiled at me like a cheeky cat. If only that was what my thoughts were. Too bad I'm thinking of someone who's 800 miles away. 

"Yeah, that's what it is." I offered up a small smile and a flirty wink.

"You are so bad! I love it!" I laughed along with her even though my heart wasn't in it.

"Well. If it isn't the man stealing skank." We stopped dead in our tracks. Angel. Of course it was Angel. I've had a few encounters with her so far, but nothing I can't handle.

"I've already told you, 'skank', that I didn't steal him. He wasn't yours to begin with." I smiled and watched her face go from mad, to rage. Bishop and I agreed to just let people think what they want, and go along with it if it came up to save from them asking me to many questions that I didn't want to give answers for.