The Confession: Tragic Harmony

Chapter 1

He looked at the spiralling ceiling as he was lying down on his bed, engrossed within the strange, blurry paterns the fan made as it revolved. Nauseated, he attempted to get up, but the utter exhaustion of Roger's mental state forced him back on the bed.

This is it. I can't take it anymore. I've done everything. EVERYTHING. My life has been circling on her axis yet all I ended up with is grief. I've given it everything I could, everything a man could ever offer, yet she trampled on it; on my feelings and sacrifice, my woes and cries, my pleas and toils of in the dark of those sleepless nights. She gave my existence purpose, and now that purpose shuns my existence away.

The surge of chaining thoughts made it harder for Roger to breathe, as if the voice inside his head has suddenly grown claws to choke the life out of him. He decided to get up in an attempt to expand his breathing space. As soon as he got onto his feet, his ears caught the attention of the noise outside his room. When he drew closer to his bedroom door, he recognised the noise as sounds of his family. The clutter of cutlery and china ringing against the table, sounds of a roaring crowd in high pitched amnesia humming in the lounge which was a typical sign of Roger's father tuned in to a big football game while his mother could be heard yelling on top of the commentary bustling from the TV to stop his two younger brothers from running around the house. It was a usual night in his household. Except Roger didn't feel it the same way. He felt the air around his bedroom choking him, the walls caving into sheer claustrophobia, and the warmth of his home slowly losing it's welcoming touch. He leaned his head against the door gently and with a frail, shaky tongue he said:

''I am sorry. Forgive me''

His mind finally came to a definitive desicion. A desicion that will finally bring an end to the traumatic chain of events which have had led up to this moment. He dashed towards his closet and took out his school uniform. Without even a second of hesitation, he carefully picked up his study chair and placed it below the fan. He took a moment to breathe as his headache felt like it will pound it's way through his cranium before he climbed on to the chair and tied the sleeves of his school uniform into an intricate Noose knot – something he learned amongst a plethora of unique kinds of knots taught at his local Boy Scouts camp to serve for a variety of survival-oriented scenarios where all you have to depend on is a rope or anything that can work like one.

The Noose knot is one of the most effective and versatile knots taught to young recruits for its capability to be employed in all kinds of situations, from mountain climbing to trekking, knitting and even subduing large animals. An interesting fact about the Noose knot is that it's illegal to parade it openly in public in the states of Virginia, Connecticut and New York due to its strong historical association with the segregation era lynchings. The Noose knot is now more popularly witnessed and identified as the "hangman's noose" as it's more humane successor, brandishing more loops to prevent executions via hanging from instantly breaking a convicted felon's neck and cause instant death.

A fractured neck was, however, the least of Roger's concerns.

Upon the  creation of his makeshift noose, Roger took a hard gulp of breath. The height at which he was standing made him feel dizzy. Gradually, he felt everything around him blackening out, lights around him fading away. He reluctantly passed his neck through the ring, and with a deep breath, let himself loose, instantly finding his neck wrapped tightly, choking him as he coughed for breath. He looked towards his bedroom door as he geared to push away the chair and said

''I'm very sorry, for everything. I hope you forgive me."

And with brute force, he pushed his chair away, along with his hopes and dreams.