Chapter 4
Homeroom. Another talk for 'lessons of life'. What could we possibly know about life that we haven't experienced yet? I rested on my arm chair, head down and shoulders slumped. It's barely 4 days before Valentines day, would there be progress between me and Jack? Here I go again. It's like my whole world revolves around him, I have got to stop this. The counselors were explaining instructions on some game, I better listen. There was a box rotating around the classroom, music playing and people smiling and eying the box carefully. I guess this was one of those 'stop music' games. The box was approaching me and I got it with a big smile on my face. As I was about to pass it, the music suddenly stopped. I froze then flushed, 'wth?!'. The councilor asked me to stand up and open the box. I did what I was told, with shaking hands. There was a message, I read it aloud, "If there was that one person in the past you would like to talk to, who would it be?". I froze and got out of reality. Of course the answer was so obvious. Jack. Who else? I wanted to answer; but I just can't say his name out loud with him seating four seats before me. Should I? They were all waiting. And they all knew the answer but just wanted to hear me say it. I made a quiet squeal, "Jack". I sat down, my cheeks burned and I could have sworn everyone was screaming. The music played on and the box was passed around once again. This time, it stopped at Jack. Everyone looked at him including me. That was so embarrassing for me, I wonder what his question would be. I was busy thinking and watching him that I didn't know what was happening. I just saw the councilor giving him chocolates. Did he win a prize? He was approaching me, and everyone was screaming: looking from jack to me. I didn't know what to do, I was tomato red. He handed the chocolates to me and I smiled. I wanted to say 'thank you', but nothing came out. It all happened so fast. I stared at the chocolates. Was there still a spark? Was there still chance?
Countdown: 3 days before V-day. Jack hasn't asked me out. Jack hasn't even talked to me since the Homeroom incident. Was all that a mistake? Did he give me the chocolates just because he had no other choice? God did is hard. Thinking about him over and over. Not knowing if he still likes me or if he has moved on. Tick tock, time's ticking fast. I want a date, badly. Am i being desperate or obsessed? Maybe both; but I don't really care. I loved Jack and that incident at homeroom proved to me that possibly there is still hope for both of us. That maybe we could get our love back. That we could get each other back. Maybe. Drifting apart never meant you can't be back together, right? I was sitting at the same spot where everything happened. The confession, the blushing, the whooping of my classmates and the chocolates. That was a day I would never forget. The day where I, for the first time since the cool - off, felt that there was still chance between us. The hope of one day, we would regain love again.
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It was dark, cold and chilly. I was in the middle of nowhere, at least that's what I thought. I felt unbearable pain on my legs, in my thighs and on my head. I couldn't move. I smelled fresh blood. I was 99.9% sure I was dying if it weren't for the sound of a frail heartbeat. I didn't struggle or scream for help. I just wanted to lay there, undisturbed. I felt drops of water pouring from my eyes and everything became blurred. I felt numb, the same feeling I get whenever I think of Jack. More tears fell. I didn't know where I was, what to do and where to go. My mind was shouting for rescue but my mouth was kept shut. I thought of him, not the bad times we've shared but the great times. I was filled with flashbacks: the jokes, the laughs and the talks made with Jack. My lips formed a small smile. It was heartbreaking and mind-blowing to see it all. What we used to be and possibly what we might have become. Suddenly, I heard a voice. I froze and Jack faded away.
The voice became louder. My hands were shaking and my heart was beating fast. Should I run now? I didn't know who was approaching, it could be my savior or my killer. Either way, I'm gonna die. The bleeding became worse and the pain felt more unbearable. I couldn't take it anymore. 'Lord take me now!'. There were footsteps getting closer and closer, I braced myself. I never knew it would end this way. I heard my name, but I really couldn't tell because I was getting weaker by the second. My eyes were blurred. And for the second time, I wanted Jack. I wanted him around me, to comfort me and say it's alright. If he was with me, I'd die happily. I'd know it would be ok. Suddenly, a man appeared through the bushes. He was wearing boots, a hat and a jacket. He was a little bit taller than me with a pale complexion. That's all I can tell as my eyes began to close. The man was running to me, panicking. I felt his hands around my waist and we were moving.
'Who was this guy? Was he saving me? Or leading me straight to hell?'
