The Break Down

13.

(Zayn's POV)

I feel absolutely terrible for what I did to Tay three days ago. I've been trying to shove it away because as she keeps insisting, it's her fault because she told me too and not to be sad anymore.

I just can't help but replaying the fear in her eyes when I pulled away and the way her weakened body slumped on the floor. I've only ever seen that twice before.

They were both accidents but nonetheless I did it but let's not talk about that. Taylor pats my shoulder and plops on the couch next to me. "What's up handsome?" She kisses my cheek and I smile briefly.

"Nothing what do you want for lunch?" She hums and lays her head down in my lap and plays with my shirt. I smile down at her, "I don't know let's ask Liv." I nod and she shouts.

"Livvy!.......Livvy!" I chuckle and hear thumping paws and footsteps. Then Livvy is in front of me while Thor paws at Tay's cheek. "Hey little buddy!" Tay pats his head and then I ask Liv. "What do you want for lunch baby?"

Tay looks up at her and smiles. "Can we have fries?" Tay chuckles and I roll my eyes. "Dear God you're just like your mum." Livvy giggles and in her prominent British accent she says, "mum is the best that's why."

I gasp and Tay snorts laughing loudly. "Nice!" Livvy giggles and says, "I'm kidding dad, I love you both....but really can we have fries?" I chuckle and shake my head. "How about burgers and fries?"

Livvy thinks and says, "yes, sounds yummy." She plops down next to Thor and pats his belly. "I was thinking we could go to pop's." Tay suggests and I nod. "We can get milkshakes and stuff."

Livvy nods excitedly and runs up to get dressed. Tay chuckles slightly and stares up at me with a warm smile. I smirk and look at her. "What?" She simply says back to my question, "you're gorgeous." I chuckle half-heartedly and say, "aren't I supposed to say that?"

She beams and says, "well ya could...But I think I beat you to it." I huff and smile. "Well you're a dork." She nods and shrugs. "Yeah I know, but you love this dork." I nod and say, "yeah I do."

She reaches up and plays with my beard. "Look how long your hair is already, your hair grows at the speed of light I swear." She says in fascination. "Like look!, I cut my hair last year and it's only like a centimeter longer."

She runs a hand through her hair. I smile and ruffle her hair. "It's still long enough for me to pull on though." She squeals when I tug her hair. She laughs and does the same to me. "Yeah me too." I grunt and smirk.

"Now now, don't be a child." She pouts and I say, "bad girls get punished." Her eyes blaze and she smirks looking away with a blush. "I would know." I release my breath slowly and chuckle.

She looks back at me amusingly and raises a brow. "Bad boys like bad girls." I bite my lip and say, "I would know." She reaches both of her hand to my face and pulls me down to her soft lips.

I kiss her as gentle as possible and she pulls away with her lips still puckered but her eyebrows are furrowed. "What the hell was that?" I look at her confused and she sits up causing me to pull away. She looks at me for a minute studying my face and then she rolls her eyes.

"I see." I look away, "you see what?" She she looks at me through her eyelashes and says,"you're still mad about what happened yeah?" I close my eyes quickly and look back at her confused. "I don-"

She looks at me sternly and I stop speaking already knowing I've been caught. "I can't stop picturing how...Scared and hurt you were." She looks down and says, "Zayn." I shake my head. "No!"

She looks up at me in shock. "No...You don't get it. I didn't want to do that to you and you made me.....I had to see you hurt!...By me!, Which is something I never want to do."

She listens to me sincerely and then when I'm done she smiles gently. "Zayn....Don't think about it...I know easier said than done but for me?...I'm not mad, I'm not hurt, I'm still here, and I wasn't scared."

I look at her in doubt. "You might have been overwhelmed...I was shocked Zayn not scared. You did start to hurt me a little but you stopped!" She smiles slightly. "Baby please you're beating yourself up for nothing."

I glare at the floor. "Your life isn't nothing to me." She frowns and says, "I know." I shake my head and stand up, "clearly you don't." She crawls to the end of the couch while I walk away. "Zayn!, What about lunch?!?"

I walk away and glare. "Go without me." I watch as she sighs falling back on the couch. I walk past Olivia and she says, "dad?" I just walk in my room and close the door. I sigh and sit on the edge of the bed.

Taylor gambled her life when she let me drink her blood. It's so fucking good, I could've killed her. What stopped me was thinking of our family and how I could never live without her and I wouldn't want Olivia too either.

Then I heard her voice, her velvety smooth, sweet voice...And it pulled me out. "Dad?" Olivia peeks at me through the door and then comes in fully. "What are you doing?, Aren't we going for lunch?"

I shake my head and say, "you and mama are, I'm staying here." She looks at me and says, "do you have to eat....Fresh food?" I smile slightly and shake my head. "No baby, I'm just feeling a little tired so I'm gonna sleep."

She nods and throws her little arms around me. I hug her back and kiss her cheek. "Go have fun with mama yeah?" She nods and smiles. "I love you Dad!" I smile and say, "I love you too princess."

She leaves closing the door behind her and I listen closely waiting for them. Faintly I can hear them talking downstairs. "He's sleeping mama." I hear Taylor sigh and she says, "oh okay...Let's go eat yeah?, Then do some shopping?"

They leave after about ten minutes and when I'm sure they've left I change my clothes to all black clothes and walk out back. I speed out to the lake about a mile away and then sigh. I half expected Taylor to text me or call me. Pop's isn't that far away she should be there....Maybe I made her mad.

She's probably pissed, but so am I. Actually not even pissed I'm just sad. Just then I feel my phone vibrate and assuming it's Taylor I immediately answer. "Zayn I need you to come in now, we are so backed up it's ridiculous."

Realizing it's Liam I sigh. "Like now now?" He groans, "no Zayn two weeks from now, yes now get your ass down here!" I scoff and roll my eyes. "Okay okay I will be there in twenty." He makes a weird noise and says, "okay thanks."

I hang up and sigh. I speed back to the house and grab my keys and a beanie. I grab a water out of the fridge and walk to my car. I was hoping work wouldn't call today but that's cool too.