The Hollow Moon (Downworlder Series, #2)

Chapter Twenty: Let Go

I hurt.

Everything hurt. My lungs, my throat, my eyes, my chest, my heart. It beat in my chest but each beat was a raw and new pain that washed over me. Smoky was gone, he was dead. The one person I loved beyond all others and he was taken from me. The sobs that rolled through my chest and throat were like fire and they came in waves. Exhaustion would pull me under, my body unable to handle the grief that crashed over me. It felt boundless, limitless. An endless ocean of grief, of pain, that sent tsunami sized waves to batter my sore and tormented soul.

How much could one soul stand before it gave up, crushed under the weight pressing down on it?

Smoky had been the one thing in my world that I had trusted, had adored. He was the only male who hadn't hurt me in the city. He had taken me in, protected me. He had stood by my side, a playful and rumbling guardian always eager for my love so he could return it. A fresh swell of burning tears seared my skin as they escaped from my closed eyes.

My chest felt so hollow, as if someone had removed something so important to me. There was an emptiness to my soul. A space near my soul where Smokey had once been. The pain struck me, making a low sound escape my throat as I curled up, clutching my shirt in my hand tightly. Revan had left after he had received a call, everything was so much harder to deal with without him there.

It was such a strange situation. I knew Revan had called the attack that had taken Smoky but I felt like I needed him to get my bearings. He was the only thing I had left before MacIntosh had taken me again. He was the last thing I had that felt safe. It was a twisted world where I felt safer with the male who had caused me so much pain.

I heard the elevator ding and opened my gritty eyes. My head pounded as I rubbed at my sticky cheeks with my free hand, my other one clutched tightly around the bottle that contained the pieces of Smoky. "Emily, I have something for you." Revan's voice cut through the still air and I closed my eyes, trying hard to breathe without sobbing. I swallowed hard and slowly sat up, my joints felt unbearably achy and my muscles protested the movement.

I turned my head to look at him but his hands were empty. His ice blue eyes were guarded as they watched me. I gave a small frown of confusion before one of his hands fell to the head of a small girl, her hair was curly and her cheeks rosy. She looked so familiar. Her eyes were wary as she clung to his pant leg. A flash of a rusty handled switchblade tucked into her fist had me sitting up straighter, beyond surprised, "Anya?" My throat was raw and the words came out on a ragged whisper.

The little female made a sound of relief as she released her hold on Revan's leg, moving towards me quickly with wide tearful eyes, lips trembling, "Em, Stinky wasn't lyin'. He didn't hurt you." She scrambled onto the bed, her arms wrapped around my waist as she buried her face into my stomach.

I felt shocked for a moment, my mind unsure if I was dreaming or if it was real. Slowly, I lifted my arms and pressed my hands to Anya's small shaking frame. I sucked in a sharp breath as I drew her closer to me. She was real. She was here with me. Somehow she had survived and Revan had found her and brought her here.

I felt the tears falling from my eyes as I met his shielded gaze. He stood silently watching over the two of us. I wanted to know what he was thinking in that clouded mind of his. The male I had pulled out of the trash what felt like years ago was not the same male that stood before me now. Sure, he looked the same, talked the same, and held himself the same. Yet, I knew he was different. He had changed. We both had, for better and for worse.

I peeled my gaze from him, "He would have met the end of my knife if he had tried." My voice sounded hoarse from all my crying, cracking slightly.