Before We Grow

Sneaking Out

"Are you sure about this?" I asked Dick, "I mean, I just spoke to him yesterday."
Dick shook his head, "No, you yelled at him, that wasn't speaking. You need to talk to him, but you need to be prepared. If we find him, you'll be ready, and you can tell him everything you've ever wanted to."
I stared at Dick. He was right, maybe I did just need to talk to him. Still, I didn't want to. Superman killed my parents, and had the audacity to arrive at their funeral to defend himself.
"Honestly, I'd rather hit him," I replied.
"That's why I'm there, to make sure you don't," Dick zipped his backpack, "Look, when my parents died, I wanted to kill the man who did it too. But, when I spoke to him, I overcame that. Maybe we can do the same for you. Superman doesn't kill people, and the only way for you to realize that is to hear his side of the story."
I crossed my arms, "But, I don't want too."
"You're going to do it whether you like it or not. It'll help you overcome this, I promise."
I stared at him. He swung his backpack over his shoulder, and zipped up his jacket. When we had asked Bruce if we could go, he said a hard no. He didn't believe that talking to Superman would help me. He thought I was still to unstable. Dick, however, thought differently.
"Are you sure?" I asked, "What if he tries to kill me too? Finish the job."
Dick placed his hands on my shoulders, "Lucy, you have to trust me."
"Alright, I trust you."
He handed me my backpack, which I flung over my shoulders. It was the dead of night, and Bruce had gone out on patrol. He decided that I should stay in, due to my emotional state after seeing Clark Kent. Dick volunteered to stay with me. All of it was a ruse to get a way out.
"We're so getting grounded when we come back," Dick stated.
I nodded, "Metropolis isn't that far, we could make it there and back in a night."
"Especially if we steal The Batwing."
"Do you want to get killed?" I asked, "Because, that's how you get killed."
Dick shrugged, "It was a thought."
The two of us began to make our way to his window. Just as he opened it, the door to the bedroom opened. Alfred stood there, his eyebrows lifted and a hand on his hip, "And where do you two think you're going?"
Dick and I froze. One of his legs was already out the window. I was getting ready to jump out, but we were frozen. Both of us slowly turned to face Alfred.
"This is a dream" I said, "You're dreaming. Go back to sleep."
Alfred sighed, "That won't work on me, Miss Lucille. I thought you two were staying in for the night."
"We were going to be back before Bruce even realized," Dick tried.
"Back from where?"
I sighed, "Metropolis, Dick was going to help me confront Superman."
Alfred stared at us for a moment. I was scared he would call Bruce, and Dick and I would never be let out of the house again. Instead, he straightened, "Master Kent can hear every heartbeat on the planet and is faster than a speeding bullet. I don't think you have to go all the way to Metropolis to confront him."
"Alfred, that's genius!" Dick exclaimed.
I lifted an eyebrow, "Wait, what am I missing?"
"We'll go to the tallest building in Gotham and call him. He'll hear us, and he'll come."
"How are you so sure? He could easily just ignore us," I complained.
"If there's one thing I know about Master Kent, it's that he never ignores a call for help," Alfred replied, "I would suggest changing into your costumes and being back before sunrise."
Dick grinned, "Thanks Alfred."
"My pleasure, Master Dick."
Without another word, the butler left the room. I glanced at Dick, "This won't work, he won't come when he knows it's me."
"That's why I'll call him," Dick jumped back into the room and shut the door, "He and I go way back."
I stared at him for a moment longer. He seemed confident in this plan, and I trusted him. If it didn't work, we could always go to Metropolis.
"Alright, fine, let's go call Superman."
With that, the two of us headed down towards The Batcave to get changed.
***
"I still have my doubts," I said, leaning against the wall.
Dick and I, as Robin and Blitz, had decided to perch on the battlements of Gotham's tallest building. It was the one with the gargoyles, and was my favorite perch in all of the city.
"You won't once he gets here," Dick replied, "Now, stay back and let me call him."
I shook my head, crouching behind one of the gargoyles. Dick stood at the very end of it and shouted, "Hey, Superman, it's Robin. We could really use your help here, like really badly."
For a moment, nothing happened. The skies were as silent as they had always been. I nearly came out, but then the wind picked up momentarily. I heard the folds of a cape, and Superman rose in front of Dick.
"This is an unusual call. Where's Bruce?"
"He doesn't actually know we're out here," Dick admitted.
Clark lifted an eyebrow, "Dick, what's going on?"
"You need to talk to her."
That was when I came out. I slowly made my way into the light. My fingers were digging into my palm to keep from shouting. Dick placed a hand on my shoulder when I was even with him. I pulled off my goggles and looked at the flying man.
"Lucille..." Clark stated.
I swallowed a lump in my throat, "You killed my parents, and I want to know why."
Clark was silent for a moment. With every passing second, I felt my anger grow. I wanted to scream at him, to attack him, but Dick held me back. His touch kept me in line, which was his plan.
"I didn't do it on purpose," Superman admitted, "I thought the area was clear. If I could go back, I would save them."
I stared at him. His eyes looked broken, but that could easily be a lie. I tightened my fists, "We were visiting. Of all the buildings, you drop the one we were running towards. They were the only people who died that day."
"I know, and I'm sorry," Clark admitted, "It's impossible to save everyone, I know that, and I hate it. It's in the job description, but still, I try, and I fail. I can't save everyone, and those I don't stay with me forever."
I was at a loss for words. Clark's eyes were glued to the ground. All color had left his cheeks.
"You really didn't mean to," I whispered.
Clark shook his head, "I wish I could have saved them. I can't tell you how sorry I am, Lucille. I know what it's like to lose parents, and I'm sorry I made you feel that pain."
It occurred to me that he was just as broken up at this as I was. He saved lives everyday, but, as he said, you can't save everybody. My parents weren't the first casualties, and they wouldn't be the last. Each and every death tormented him further, and he couldn't escape that, but he continued to be the guardian of the world.
"You were my hero," I muttered, "I looked up to you, I wanted to be you, but not anymore."
Clark refused to meet my eyes, "A hero is someone who knows they can't save everyone, who knows there will be casualties because of them, but gets up and fights anyways, because they know they can make the world a better place, but they can't save everyone."
I was silent for a minute. This was the moment I had been waiting for for seven long months. In this moment, I could make or break my mission. In this moment, the mission changed.
"Maybe you are a hero, just not my hero," I stated, "I don't want to be you anymore, because I can't imagine what torture it must be to know you can't save everyone in the world. Yet you do it, and, for that, you're still a hero."
Clark glanced up at me. Now, his eyes met mine. They were that of a broken man who hides his pieces behind a shield.
"I am sorry, Lucille," Clark repeated.
I took a deep breath, "I know, and I forgive you."
The moment I said those words, the world seemed to change. All the malicious shouting of the people below turned into joyous cheers. The darkness that plagued me vanished, and the weight upon my heart was lifted.
I realized this mission was never about revenge, but about forgiveness. Killing the man that killed my parents wouldn't make their souls rest well, forgiving him did. This is what Mama and Papa would want.
"It's unforgivable," Clark replied, "What I did, it can't be overlooked."
I shook my head, "Except, you didn't do it, I see that now. I shouldn't have held it against you, I'm sorry."
Clark stared at me. For a moment, we were the only two people in the world. Slowly, a smile crossed his lips.
"Thank you."
I stuck out my hand. In an act of friendship, he shook it. That was the moment the deal was sealed.
My parents could finally rest in peace.