Hell With A Smile

Andy's POV

The therapy went on as my parents wanted, I had school still going on for me, assignments and field works, my mother hadn't said a lot of spoken words to me and I could sense the tension, the distance and maybe hurt (if I didn't imagine that part), I mean, I doubted she ever felt wrong or bad about anything, maybe a sting of pity

I had just returned from my study group with my two close best friends when I headed off to the kitchen, I was thirsty and needed a drink

As I walked in, I saw my mother preparing something that had this aroma of stew, well, she could cook alright, more than I might give credit for, but she barely did that, I shook a bit, the scenario was awkward, I wished I hadn't entered the kitchen already, since my outburst and exchange of words, we barely saw much, eye to eye

"Good day mum" I greeted

"How are you dear" she replied in a rather too calm a voice

"I'm good" I said as I fetched my bottled water and made to exit the kitchen

"Andy, I just prepared stew, care to have lunch with me?" She asked and then it happened

My heart snapped for ten seconds , some mixed feelings of joy and fear engulfed me, I felt like after all these years, finally I was one step to reaching out to my mother and somehow, it felt all scary to me, she was yet to scold me more or was that a thing of the past now, already?

Suddenly I sat down on the stool while my mum dished the meal with the fried plantains she had already fried earlier on, I began eating slowly when she asked "how's school baby?"

Was she trying to catch up on my life right now..,like in the middle of this weird dish and all, I didn't know exactly how to reply to that but I knew somehow, I had drifted apart from my mother and I had to mend the bridge

"School is good mum" I replied, chewing on my food

"Just good, tell me more Andy" she insisted, shoving a chunk of chicken my way

"Huh,...like which part, my art classes?..okay we usually have this meetings that.. " I began blabbing but was interrupted

"Honey, shouldn't you be in some science class, I mean, you have science written all over you more"

I stopped eating like I froze, here she was again, trying to meddle in my choices from the outside, did she realize she wasn't a part of me yet, like ever???

"Science mum??" I stuttered breathing hard

"Yes, a medical doctor tag will look all good to you, gynecology, surgery, optician, you know, the whole lot"

Then I snapped, it was so much to take in, I could barely eat anymore "mum, I was born to be arts inclined, have you even seen what I can do with my imaginations, my hands, my voice, my body and thoughts, my guts and instincts?"

But my mum wasn't backing down "you can do all that in science Andy, you can,we'll ask Mr. George to help us switch choices, okay baby" she said tapping my palm on the table, smiling and eating

"No mum!!!, you won't stay home one day from your busy schedule, cook a simple meal and feel you can now meddle with my life and everything in it?, did you even notice I suck at sciences, no you haven't cause you are so busy tryna make us complete your other options in life"

"Andy shut up and listen to me, this has nothing to do with my admiration for female medical doctors okay, though it's cute, so..."

"It does mum, it has everything to do with it, I thought you wanted to reach out, but it seems you wanna go through lunch to control my choices in life, I don't wanna be in some lab ending lives just cause I thought you meant well and I could save them"

"But that's what's best for you, what in the world do you know about choices, what Andy, what???, you don't even know what would look good on you, the white robes, the whole title, the aura, the..." My mum snapped desperately

"The what??!!!!.....stop mum please, don't, just don't, my career isn't some fashion runaway, if I wanna storm the red carpet, I know where to go" I stood up and grabbed a bottled water and began heading for the door

"But you aren't done eating"

"I am mum, thanks but I just lost my appetite"

With tears threatening to fall, I stormed off crying as I grabbed the keys to the car, honed at the gates and as soon as it flew open by the gate man, I zoomed off speeding to no directions in particular

I couldn't believe I thought my mother could choose to have lunch with me, mend my brokenness and then hug me to sleep, I felt kinda stupid all over again, I've always done things to please her, and yet, she wouldn't let this one thing be all mine....

Finally, I had to do the harsh reality check and say the dreadful words.. I was quitting on my mother.... I kept speeding down the road without a care as to where I was headed, somehow, I needed to keep driving