𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬: 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐄𝐊𝐇𝐈

31. | D O W N LOW, D O U B L E LIFE

C H A P T E R | THIRTY-ONE
DOWN LOW, DOUBLE LIFE

𝚂 𝚃 𝙾 𝙽 𝙸 𝙵 𝙻 𝙾 𝚁 𝙴 𝚂

SHE sat quietly on the edge of the bed, nearest the window and stared out at the street watching the throngs of passing cars whizzing by and the sounds of life in the city. Being there, in the environment completely different than the one she'd known all her life made her reflect on a few things. For one the house that she lived in was filled with reminders and remnants of him all throughout. Essentially it was his house - - a gift he'd given her - - but his nonetheless. She looked down at the clothes that she was wearing and realized that they were clothes given to her by him.

The same could be said of the jewelry she donned and the shoes on her feet. Carter had provided everything for her - - given her everything that she needed so that she should not want for a thing so what right did she have to tell him that aborting the child growing inside her was a horrid idea? Did she really have any solid ground to stand on when it came to anything, being that he was her sole provider? Though it was her body, the decision it seemed, should at last be Carter's and not hers...right? At least this was the way that Stoni began to rationalize the abortion that Carter had arranged and that she had agreed to.

She spent the night before in the bed alone crying her eyes out, unbelieving that she was actually about to let those terrible doctors probe and violate her body with their cold, hard, and impersonal tools. Stoni couldn't actually believe that she was going to allow something so precious be taken away from her - - but then what about all that the two of them had to lose? She couldn't get the pain that having this child would cause out of her head either. The child could ruin so much for Carter and the same could be said for Stoni and her career as a dancer. It seemed as if she was damned if she did and damned if she didn't.

"Do you want to bring these pajamas or the pink ones?" Allison's voice drew Stoni's attention away from the window momentarily and over to where she stood, packing Stoni's overnight bag. She was told that the procedure was usually an out patient procedure but sometimes they would detain patients for a night just to make sure that everything went smoothly. So, in case she needed to stay there, she was told she needed to pack a bag, "I know you like the blue ones but I wasn't sure if you wanted that one or the pink ones."

"It doesn't matter," Stoni shrugged her shoulders, thankful that Allison was packing her things for her. She wasn't sure that she had the strength to do anything else but mope about like a lost puppy, "Just pack whatever you want."

Allison sighed, knowing her best friend's predicament well, and wishing that there was something she could do to help her but she knew the effects of this man - - of Carter - - were irreversible ones. Never had she seen a woman, in all her days of hearing about him and seeing how he treated women, resist him or disobey his wishes. Basically, what Carter said, went. Allison also knew that he had Stoni's mind so wrapped around his finger that she wouldn't dare try to rebel against what he told her to do - - he had her and he had her good.

"Can you promise me something," Allison said and came over to her sullen friend, sitting by the window, "Can you promise me," she grabbed Stoni and laid Stoni's head on her shoulder while stroking her hair as motherly as possible, "Promise me that you really thought about this, Stoni," she didn't want Stoni to get upset but she wanted her to be sure that she knew what she was doing by agreeing to the abortion, "You know it's not too late to back out now. Sure, raising a baby is hard but living with the guilt of an abortion is a weight to bear too."