Tragedy

Tragedy:36:

Justin:
8:32 AM

"How much should I even pack?" I sighed, holding onto my neck with both of my hands as I watched Bella putting her own clothes in a suitcase.

This was incredibly weird.

"Well, you'll have a washer and dryer there, right? Just pack whatever you'll be comfortable in. I can't imagine you'd want to wear jeans all the time."

I nodded, walking into our closet and grabbed a few pairs of sweatpants.

I still didn't feel good a day later. This withdrawal medication would be wearing off within a few hours.

I had a feeling the first week was going to be hell.

All of my hygiene stuff was packed. We only had an hour and a half before we had to leave because I had an eye doctor's appointment...and I was nervous to be out in public with Bella - like this.

She hadn't really talked much this morning, and it was killing me.

"Are you okay?" She asked me, looking at me where I stood with my sweatpants in my hands.

"Of course I'm not okay." I snapped, taking it back immediately. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to come out that way."

"It's okay. It was a stupid question." She mumbled, putting some of her own clothes in her suitcase.

"No, it wasn't." A sigh escaped my lips as my shoulders slumped, debating on my head whether or not to walk over to her.

I didn't. I was still confused on where we stood. I didn't know if she wanted me to touch her.

"You have your thinking face on." She murmured, raising her eyebrow as our eyes met.

"I can't stop thinking." I ran my hand down my face in frustration, then attempted to make myself look bust again because of my shaking hands.

"It's going to be okay."

"What if it's not?" I asked her, keeping my eyes down. "What if this is all I'm meant for? You deserve- I don't know what I'm saying."

"You can talk to me," She pleaded, walking over and sat on the edge of the bed. "What's going on?"

"Why are you moving out if I'm leaving? Why don't you want to be here when I come back?"

"I don't want to be in this house alone." She sighed in defeat, biting down on her lip. "We've barely been here a month. I'll stop in and such - but I can't be here alone, not with Manny on the loose. I have to for the baby. We need help Justin. We're not where we used to be. Things have changed within the past few weeks and you know it."

"But we can get back there. I love you. You're the only one I want to be with and I don't want-"

"I know," She shushed, taking hold of my hands and pulled me closer. "I love you too. That's why we're doing this. So we can be a family and be together. That's all I want too. We just have to heal ourselves before we can heal each other, ya know?"

"Yeah...I guess..."

"I love you." Bella cupped my face, sucking in her bottom lip momentarily before she continued to talk. "I'm not leaving you, okay? I know you're mad, and I know you're confused. You're still my fiancé. You're still the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. We can get through this together, just not right now. We have to do this part on our own."